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In my state it is boilerplate language in the decree that parents cannot move beyond a reasonable distance without permission of the other parent or a court order.

How does your state handle this?

You fight her moving out of state, and you fight it hard. This is one thing that you can not let slide. You will regret it if you let her move and take them.

Just wanted to step in and say I'm sorry.

And to offer that it took some time, but what I know now is that I can only control what is under my own roof. In some ways, this helps ...more than anything else. Sadly, and it is not being a bad parent, there is nothing I can do when my kids are with x and Ow-and Ds is only 1. What I am told by lawyers and judge here is that so long is there is not proven violence, I can do nothing but hope that DS remembers to send a hi text sometime during their absence.

In my state, or at least the lawyers we had, put language in the papers that neither parent is allowed to just up and move either child out of state-at first this royally ticked me off but now I am just glad that it means the same for that guy (x).

At the beginning, it is so shocking and strange to think of other people with our kids. But the sad truth is, the more we the BS try to even interact, in some cases, the more we are seen as simply interferring. So I just wanted to say, be careful. Because the harsh truth is, eta the WS is still a parent and still has their own rights. And sometimes, just to mess up the BS, they take full and complete advantage of that.

One of my friends is a boy who's father left his mother in the same way that we had happen here. This little boy has more compassion in one finger than I could ever imagine in a child.

Anyway...he told me the most amazing thing when Perv first left and I will never forget the words of 3 years ago: "the parent who gets left behind is still the parent. Never the new person. Ever."

These words broke my heart all over again but also made me smile at the same time and I hope they will help.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 5:11 PM, November 28th (Friday)]

My son has just met the OW and begun staying weekends with his dad. He didn't talk to his dad for over a year after Dday. It is very hard on me to let him go! Of all the crappy things my H did, this one - not having my son with "us" our family all day every day - I will NEVER forgive. Never.

I just wanted to say I understand. My XH remarried. The kids and her got along great. The thing is, I was grateful she was good to my kids. As much as the "family" photos stung, my kids were treated well. They are getting divorced now...and my kids are being faced with another broken home. And at the age of 13 and 15...I have enough on my plate with them!

Your kids may like him, hell, they may love him! But the only important thing is YOUR relationship with them. They don't understand the dynamics of all the craziness surrounding them right now, and they won't until they are older. That's when it will really count. Be there for them, guiding them, support them, teaching them, love them...this is what they will grow up to remember.

I know this is tough to swallow right now, but hope they have a great relationship with the "step" parent...it will make things so much easier on them in the long run. You may not understand that now or when they come home and tell you all the great things they did at Mom's house, but you will learn to separate your relationship with the kids from their relationship with kids.

I'd fight her moving anywhere with those kids. If she chooses to abandon them, that's on her.

I am in a deep South BM friendly state, but I've seen plenty of cases where the BM is NOT allowed to move out of state.