SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This seems fun . . .

*Married a disgusting lazy bum

*Has two children - one of whom is a little nightmare

*Looks for sex partners online

*Hooks up with random stranges

*Wasn't happy in her marriage so she tried having "girlfriends" for a while

*Made her husband sleep downstairs on the nights she had her girlfriends over

*Slept with her husbands friends (sometimes with him participating!)

*Tried to get WH to have sex with her while her husband watched

*Had to quit her job before they fired her

*Couldn't afford to keep her pets and was running from creditors (but wouldn't give up her satellite television, internet - porn is a must for her and hubby -, security system complete with cameras which she used to get video of her and WH)

*Had multiple affairs with co-workers of her's & WH's

*Now divorced - left the state and did not take her children

*Fake boobs, piercings, tattoos

*Disgusting housekeeper - Just had to throw that in :)

A real winner, this one . . .

[This message edited by kourt090 at 12:20 AM, January 27th (Sunday)]

Meh...

*Successful young professional

*Very attractive

*Her FB shows her to be well-liked

Other than being willing to have an EA with my husband...she seems normal.

Susan43...I agree with you.

TOW:

40 y.o.

College graduate

long term, professional career

Tall, HOT and gorgeous (WS words)

Collects phone numbers/emails from men

Distributes her phone number/emails

Cultivates the next guy on the side while she is in a relationship

Willingly pursues and allows being pursued by married men with young children

Selfish

OCD

Manipulative

Craves attention (who better than a middle-aged white dude - who fits Daddy's professional profile

- to give her that attention)

Divorced

One poor child

Lives with Mom and Dad

Uses mom for frequent and free child care so that she can meet WH for all night/day fuck fests - apparently 5 times a day is easy for her

[This message edited by TotallyBlindside at 11:19 AM, January 27th (Sunday)]

I'll play

1. Solicited her Uncle at 16 for money.

2. Phone Sex Operator

3. Dates MM

4. Plays the victim

5. Manipulates others to do her job

6. Lies

7. Lies

8. Lies

9. Lies

10. Did I mention she lies

Wow! This is interesting. All I know about the other man is that my wayward woman met him on a dating site. She won't share anything (not surprised). Also, I found out that there is another woman that lives there, so he is probably a pro at infidelity. I sure wish I knew more about this person. Hey, How did everybody find out all of there information about the other person?

Romero, by default most cheaters have a certain dirtbagishness about them, so at a minimum you know this...

Without digging deep, they lie, cheat, steal, betray, destroy, sneak, ruin, risk health, destroy families, lives, and people, just to name a few...

The specific, well, for me it came over time, through much of my own searching, as well as my WW's admissions, and then of course the OM himself in his ways of doing what guys like him do best, and that's basically through his actions and words long after the affair ended. You see I have me a stage 1 sociopath, so day after day he give us more and more little gems about the "man", and I say man lightly, really is...

The thing to remember about all of this, is don't let it affect how you think of yourself, as its easy to, but rather just think..."this is who my WS temporarily, in a state of complete F'd-upness, dumped us for...

[This message edited by Madmichaelj at 9:29 PM, January 27th (Sunday)]

A lot of my information came from snooping after d day. And where he met them.i wanted to know my enemies. I already knew or thought I knew the one I lived with.

This is fun! okay here it goes........

26........redneck.........actively pursued WH knowing he was married.......can not achieve orgasims.........very over weight.......low self esteem.........never had a long term relationship.........gets off on being with MM........ugly man looking slut!........yup of all the woman my WH comes in contact with working at a grocery store he sure did pick the uglest bitch........thanks I feel better now :)

1. Assault & Battery 1998

2. Convicted for Meth possession/distribution 2007

3. "Accidentally" beatup prior girlfriend when she tried to leave.

She's now on permanent disability due to injuries.

4. Likes "punishment sex".

5. Happily married 4 times (his words).

6. Has poor grasp of english language though born here.

7. Religious hypocrite (legendary hypocrisy)

8. Threatens often to "beat me up". LOL

9. Tried to get WW hooked on meth.

10. Sociopathic tendencies --

a. Tantrums

b. Never his fault

c. Lives by his rules not societies

d. Baby persona when effective

e. Expert in word salad

f. Love bombing

Meh...

*Successful young professional

*Very attractive

*Her FB shows her to be well-liked

Other than being willing to have an EA with my husband...she seems normal.

Same story here. BOTH OWs are attractive professionals, younger than me, and one of them even has enough conscience to not continue the PA. Me, older, heavier, not working since we moved overseas. This sucks. But I've got them in the morals game...

My ws's ow has a good job, owns her own home..no drugs, takes care of her kids...SHE JUST LIKES MARRIED MEN

Meh...

*Successful young professional

*Very attractive

*Her FB shows her to be well-liked

Other than being willing to have an EA with my husband...she seems normal.

SweetMisery, that pretty much describes by FWH's OW as well. She was attractive, smart and well liked. From everything I've ever discovered, her A with my WH was the worst thing by a mile I could find. But that's just it- she slept with a married man over and over with no regard at all for herself, for his family and children, or even for WH whom she claimed to love. That was horrible enough. Her resume didn't need any other additions to it in the "bad" column. Your WH's OW may fall into the same category of being outwardly a nice successful person, but the fact that you're here shows that she has a dark, selfish, dishonest center. Luckily in my case the OW in question left us alone after dday and didn't become a stalker or bunny boiler. Over time that has made me relieved she had a little more fiber to her than some of the more desperate OW out there. But it took quite a while for my feelings to get to that point!

Let's see...

*Only job she can seem to get is bartending. Has had other minimum wage jobs in retail, admin, etc. but they never last more than a couple months.

*She lives in a tiny piece of shit condo with her mom, her uncle, and OC.

*She was molested by her brother. He was just released from prison after serving 10 years for raping little girls (5 and 6 yo). She is still in contact with him, and probably letting him get to know his niece (OC).

*She has been arrested for domestic violence, and has admitted to my ex that she has been abusive to every guy she's been involved with.

*My ex was not her first time setting her sights on an unavailable/married man. *She used to only date men who have money so they can buy her things and take her on trips.

*She is not very well educated. She can't spell, has terrible grammar and can't hold a coversation without inserting the word "fuck" or some variation in every sentence.

*She has a revolving door of boyfriends and takes her daughter with her when she spends the night at their house, after only knowing them a few weeks.

Some of this I knew, some of this I learned recently when I ran into my ex and he had a case of verbal diarrhea and started with his sob story.

I really don't feel bad for her or my ex - but I do feel sorry for OC. This is not her fault and she deserves better parents.

Im not going to get into the turd OM....but I wanted to shed some light in to a situation that I had that will help you understand some of you above that had OW who "seemed" pretty, well liked, professional. Remember....there are two sides to the coin...for ever OW....there is an OM....remember the old adage?...APs affair down?...not always the case, but for everyone posting here in this thread...the BS of your WS could do the same. So...I give you my WS and an example...

My buddy was married to a very hot, professional, very well liked and thought of woman. She was a closet whore. She had cheated on every guy she dated through college (we all went to college together). When they married she held it together for about 3 years and then boom...she started a PA with his boss....exit affair. two years later I get an email that she and a few other friends are in town. We all meet up (I am single then) and she proceeds to go all whore on me. She is engaged btw.....I walk away and cut ties. This is a woman who is the head of a young professionals league, director of a political organization...and get this...her new hubby is a state rep....see where I am going? Broken.....she maybe smoking hot and pseudo upper class...but the girl is broken deep inside.

As for my Ws vs. her AP...I am sure his BS could sit here and write out the same as you did. Pretty, Professional, well liked, had a career and family with the big house.....vs. a family shattered by 5 affairs, short tubby homely fellow, no career (drove a delivery truck and was fired 4 times in one year, manic depressive, financially bankrupt...etc etc etc...

BUT....my WS was severely broken...would I have married her if I had known how broken? No......but I did....and she has worked herself to death fixing her...and helping fix us.

yada....sorry....

Oh my! Seeing this all written down makes it real! These OP are really broken!!!!! And for those who said OW looks good: you don't truely know if they love their husbands. I'm guessing there is brokeness you just haven't seen yet..

Ok, I'll play

1. Married 3 times and teaching this moral standard to her girls

2. Good at public service: able to like bad breath at close space.

3. Mulitask while on the clock: takes paperwork while servicing boss.

said i'd be back,

well lets see, FWS had over 30 so ill pick the "best"

main OW

*18yo

*prostitute

*heroin addict

*blackmailed my FWS (but he still went back for more)

*stole £ from him

*had a boyfriend who knew what she did and still stayed with her (pimp?)

*she was involved with another client whom she drained £6000+ from who mysteriously died and his family was after her.

*her father is in a secure mental unit for murder.

*mother also a junkie

*Pet lover and carer (let her skankiy flea ridden dog shit and piss all over my FWS batchelor love pad whilst she lived with him there for a bit.

*sold the engangement ring my FWS bought her for drugs less than a week afetr their "big event" and romantic weekend away in OUR family camper.

2nd main OW

*also a hooker

*Mother died of drugs

*loves to play the victim and get clients to buy wine, drugs, food give extra for bills etc as well as fees for shags etc

*her sister was going out with a PRIEST who shed been having an affair with and he'd left his wife and kids for and got said sister pregnant while still preaching the bible.

*drug dealer

*very very agressive in contacting my FWS

*marriage counsellor (offered to speak with me to tell me where id gone wrong in mine & FWS 10 year relationship)

*was heartbroken as one of her clients who was a married man with kids wouldnt leave his wife for her despite her being in love with him and him with her. Wasb always pining away for he "soul mate"

*talked of castles, rainbows and pet unicorns to escape the reality of her pitiful victim status existence (yes I know we all talk about skittle shitting unicorns with regard to AP's WS's etc-but this one REALLY spoke of them. (FWS says he admired this as she was a "lateral thinker" and "thought outside the box"

OW3

*Also a prostitute

*lap dancer

*Liked and owned horses - the place where they were kept was also where others kept their horses-there was an old lady who had horses and this particular hooker over time stole the old ladys horses and sold them for thousands. FWS said this one had "good business acumen"

*would get £500+ up front for multiple shags from FWS he only got one as she was on her period apparently (for 3 weeks?!!!)

Other noteables

40yo chaimbermaid with 2 kids who gave blow jobs for weed.

(FWS said that when he met this one she raised his self confidence as it meant that he could still"pull a bird" as she wasn't a prostitute officially but a chaimbermaid

OW whatever

Pisshead mum with 2 kids who would offer sex to FWS in return for him listening to her multiple boyfirend problems and buying her more wine. Kids would be around my FWS and any other male who graced her golden va jay jay.

OW Whatever

*Prostitute for many many years

*met her husband on the job (he was one of her clients) and he didn't mind a zip that she still prostituted herself. Deeply in love apparently (think this is where my FWS got the engagement idea for OW at top of page so they could live happily ever after just like this one was).

Many other escorts and other faceless bits of wood to shag, all after ££££ with wonderful current and past circumstances.

On a rational note though - to the original poster, this is an excellent excersise your counsellor gave you to do and I'm very thankful to you for sharing that with us here, it is something that will stick in my mind and I will think of this excersise alot and remind myself, often of this, it will help me heal. especially the bit about the key word being rational.

love and light

MM

MM, thanks for your thoughts...

It has helped me immensely with my healing not in that it makes me feel better that I can say I'm a better man than the OM, but that I can have sympathy for my WW's brokenness by seeing just how broken someone must be to do the things they did with the people they did them with...

The WS truly does mirror their AP...

[This message edited by Madmichaelj at 2:48 PM, January 28th (Monday)]

I'm in...

*Proficient at lying, and proud of it.

*Lacks self respect.

*EASY and cheap.

*Prides herself on giving the BEST BJs...although commented that her BH complained about his "balls hurting" and my WH dick hurt.

NOTE TO DUMBASS: If it "hurts" then the technique is all wrong!

*1st sexual encounter at age 13 and going STRONG ever since.

*Picked up and jailed overnight for Public Intoxication.

*1yr later arrested for DUI - another overnighter behind bars.

*Spent 1yr blowing into an alcohol detection machine installed in her vehicle in order to get the car started. She probably looked upon it as BJ practice.

*Her 5yr olds vocabulary includes the word "Fuck"

*Prides herself on NEVER changing a diaper.

*Spent 14mo away from her small children and never talked about them.

*Had no pictures of he children

displayed in cubicle or home.

*Could not find her way out of the company parking garage. Obviously, a very challenging garage design: ENTER....EXIT.

NOTE TO DUMBASS: There's a reason your BH referred to you as a MORON.

*Was expelled from State college.

*Brother #1 arrested for DUI, Brother #2 drug addict, nephew #1 arrested for DUI/underage drinking, nephew #2 felony arrest for theft of a firearm and concealed weapon in vehicle, nephew #1 arrested for physical violence. ..Lovely family.

*Dog and peanut butter..I will NOT go any further with this: Gross...Sick!

*Cheated on her H with my WH. Cheated on my WH with numerous other co-workers.

***Willing to relocate: without family***

***BJs furnished upon request***

Most of what I know about her I read in emails she sent to my husband;

1. Divorced and neither her exhusband or their children want anything to do with her. She has not been allowed to see her grandchild.

2. She has no hobbies (other than trolling classmates.com to find married men that are susceptible) to an A). "Do you remember me?" was how it started.

3. She has no friends.

4. She did not have a favorite genre of music, books, movies, food, or alcohol (that way she can morph into whatever her AP wants).

5. She has had numerous affairs with married men she went to high school with and doesn't understand why "if their wives were so special, why do they need me?"

6. Felt glee when her coworkers noticed she was going to lunch with a married man. Said she felt "naughty".

i don't really care about her but I just don't understand how and why he would hook up with someone like her. I hope it sort of "snuck up" on him and he didn't realize what a POS she was until he was well into it.

MArried multiple times

Alcoholic

Child with unknown father

Pipeline Whore

Can't keep a job

Stalker

NPD

on all adult dating sites

bad teeth

UGLY

groupie to any musician that will giver her the time of day or sleep with her.