SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am so glad that I have this board. I went from the adrenaline rush of anger last night to a much more calm state today. As a couple of people I'm close to IRL also said, he's completely wacko. One person said, "TA74, those are HIS problems-- not yours. Let it go. He's messed up. Don't respond."

I'm just so tired of being served up a side of crazy every week or so, you know? Why can't he just keep his mouth shut and stop trying to make the kids into his Shotgun Wedding Fanclub? Why can't he just follow the legal agreement instead of causing trouble? He has his true love, now, doesn't he? Yet he has to keep rocking the boat. I can't wait until the D is over, and they're finally married. Hopefully, all of this crap will stop happening, and I'll just have to hear how fun their weekends with the Wifetress are, nothing more.

He's so deluded, though, I wouldn't be surprised if he encourages her to approach me and "talk it out." Can't wait.

Wow, I'm impressed that he admits his affair was wrong and that it hurt people.

Where he's way off base is in assuming that your kids are stupid and don't know what is going on unless you explicitly tell them what to think.

I got a similar pompous email from my Ex when my more outspoken child said something similar to him. The right solution is always to ignore.

Wow.

He makes my head and my hand spin at the same time like that little kid in the AT&T commercial.

Douche. Bag. Times. Two.

AJ's MOM

Lol! stbxwh said this almost verbatim! The only difference is that they've already done counseling to deal with the "guilt" they feel over the affair and destruction of two marriages. Oh, and his current stance is that he wants to marry ow as quickly as he can once our divorce is final because they two of them don't like "living in sin". Seriously? Now they are worried about "sin"? And, if it worried them so much then why are they even living together...no one put a gun to their heads! Idiots.

In regards to ow, the kids know she was once my friend but now I won't even speak her name. I am honest about that. However, I also have always taught them that they are each to judge people on how that person treats them. Don't dislike someone because of something someone else said. I also have told them that it is okay if they like ow and that I want them to enjoy their time with Daddy. My feelings are my own and for me to deal with. When pressed for more than this I tell them that ow lied to me and intentionall hurt me which is not how friends are supposed to treat each other. I also have let them know as they get older and as they have more questions, I will always answer them truthfully.

I won't lie to my children and pretend that stbxwh and ow have not hurt me. I also won't lie and pretend everything is okay with this situation. However, I am sure to tell them their daddy loves them and that will never change. I also am certain that ow isn't stupid enough to do anything to hurt the kids. Although, I have made it known and set the precedence that if my children need to talk to somebody, they should always come to me first. I wouldn't trust any "advice" ow would give them.

He's so deluded, though, I wouldn't be surprised if he encourages her to approach me and "talk it out." Can't wait.

If/when that happens? Any one of us would be willing to hold your earrings for you.

Why can't he just follow the legal agreement instead of causing trouble? He has his true love, now, doesn't he? Yet he has to keep rocking the boat.

Ditto. Show your dick some respect and at least TRY to pretend like your life is better this way.

IMO the biggest things are a) the loss of control over us - it makes them crazy that they can't play us like puppets anymore, and b) for some reason our very existence invalidates them. I don't quite understand why - perhaps its because they can rewrite everything in their heads to make them a good guy and we are a constant reminder of their failings as human beings. Not even by what we say or do but just our very existence.

Either way - who cares? Let that be their burden to carry.

"Mom said that OW didn't always make the best choices." .....I hope that in the interest of the children’s well-being, you can protect them from that kind of statement in the future

I'm not sure what he's asking you to protect the children from? You told them the simple and obvious truth. Does he want you to lie to them? Your comment wasn't offensive, it wasn't mean, it was actually an almost exaggeratedly kind statement to make about such a horrendous act.

You're a parent, and part of your job is to teach your children morality, right and wrong, good and bad decisions. All things, all acts, all choices are not equal. When you see someone rob a bank, you don't "protect" your child from the fact that stealing is wrong. You teach them.

And so your children saw a terrible thing happen to their family. People made horrible choices that affected your children. Your children felt it in their hearts and in their homes. Your job isn't to hide the explanations for what they felt and experienced. I mean talk about damaging them! It's like gaslighting them. I'm not surprised that would be his instinct - gaslight, and put some kind of moral veneer on it to convince yourself gaslighting is a "kinder" choice. Whaetever.

FTG. he's clearly still in affair, cheating and lying mode.

Wow.

Had to push my jaw back up after I read his pompous bullshit.

Do me a favor? Ask him if he wouldn't mind continuing to dispense his parenting wisdom emails. Maybe he and the OW can work in a little parenting discussion at their "coming to jesus-oh we are so sorry and learning from our fuck-up" roundtable session.

I have a feeling they could be grumpy cat gold mines.

Fuck.That.Guy.

Oh, believe me, tesla-- any more pompous, "Aren't I The Superior Parent" emails from him, and I'm posting them right here for everyone to enjoy. It would be hilarious to see his arrogance immortalized in a Grumpy Cat creation.

Wow, your WH is quite a polite fellow. You should have seen the email I received when my 3 yr old called the OW a homewrecker....

I received a number of emails in the same tone. My children are all adults and knew what he had done. Well, about the one he left with anyway. I got one where he said I had turned them against him. DS said to send it back saying that he didn't need any help with that! He got crickets on every one of them and eventually sent one saying that at least i could have the common courtesy to respond to him. That one got crickets too!

It would be hilarious to see his arrogance immortalized in a Grumpy Cat creation.

Grumpy Cat gold mine for sure! Can't wait!