Wednesday night was bad. Thursday morning, while shorter, was no better.
I did some financial grunt work and went an see an attorney. Among other things I told the attorney about the Om, his year in the mental institution and has ban from driving in Alabama. He said that was pretty serious and did some digging. Turns out, the Om has some recent traffic tickets and parking citations. How did he get a traffic ticket if he was banned from driving? Someone was lying. Maybe the Om for sympathy. Not sure.
I then went to see the MC solo and broke down what has been happening. I showed him all the texts and emails. I told him I did not want this to be a bash session on WS but I wanted him to know everything. I was going to tell my WS what I gave him too. We talked for about an hour.
My WS and I met at the MC about 30 min prior. Every time I talked, it was thrown back in my face in some sort of negative way. It was like I was trying to fight the surf. I told her I consulted an attorney and she told me to get out of her car. I said I would not. I told her I wanted to find out what my options were because it seemed she had given up. I also said a D attorney is the only person I could talk to about mental health issues without them reporting. If I went to a doc and showed them the emails, they would be forced to report. Attorneys are bound. The attorney was not shooting to use the info in a negative way, but he said he would sure use it that way. I told my WS I was serious about moving forward: I was either all in for R or I was all in for D. I was going to get out of the car and if she drove off, it was D. She went in with me to see the MC.
We had a very intense session and it was not easy.
1. The pills for my WS's depression may be masking her problems because the sure are not dealing with them. Now the A has come up, she has more than she can deal with. Masking tape as a great thing, but to much weight and it will not hold... everything comes falling out of the box. He seriously recommended seeing someone outside his office and gave a few recommendations.
2. If my anger get worse, I need to see someone for PTSD. I told him I was planning on seeing someone and I will starting looking for one at lunch today.
3. He asked if she had any more questions about my porn or me with the A/Om. We both said no. He said had we forgiven each other of the errors we made. We both said yes. He said then we need to go put it in a glass house out back. We could still look at it, but don't dwell on it. And absolutely no taking plants and bringing them back inside the house.
4. The MC was mifted about the last contact after her adamant agreement to NC. He told her it was obvious why I went into a tail spin over it. Not just that there was a contact "saying no contact" but the contact said "Goodbye My Love". This is not a hard break for anyone. Also, if the Om tries to contact her, she should tell me immediately. If there is any email, I should see them, etc. Deleting them and having to ask about the Om to see if there was attempted contact is only hurting the BS, and destroying trust.
Last night was pretty calm. She sacked out around 7:30 and I did around 8:00 after putting the kids to bed. I don't recall dreaming at all. I am pretty wasted still, my digestive track is a mess and people are complementing me at work about my weight loss (what was my secret?) LOL.
Mothers' Day is the weekend and I don't have a clue about what to do. I am going to have my kids get something together (duh) but.. if I give her something does it come across wrong but if I don't give her something I was not thinking about her?? Gah?!
