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Loyalty2Liberty ( member #36714) posted at 3:23 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
I wonder if this is less about protecting yourself from human interacton or dating and more about triggering flashbacks/memories/panic attacks.
When you got out of the marriage, you lived alone. "Alone in the house" quickly took on the meaning of peace, safety, and healing. It doesn't matter why he's there or whether or not there is a relationship. If someone else is physically present in the house, you aren't "alone in the house" anymore, and the security blanket is gone.
nolight ( member #32785) posted at 3:32 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
I think that loyalty to liberty is spot on... It's scary to invite someone into your personal and what has become safe place I think what you are feeling is pretty normal!
We make our own fortunes and call them fate, and what better excuse to choose a path then to insist it's our destiny.
Jen (original poster member #26584) posted at 3:45 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
If someone else is physically present in the house, you aren't "alone in the house" anymore, and the security blanket is gone.
This !!!!! Nail meet head ...
Exactly ... He dropped off the majority of his stuff tonight. I gave him his copy of the key.
Oh yeah ... on the triggering side of things ... Xh text me today to see if I was ok with the tornado ... He knows what town I live in and he knows how far away from OKC I am. He was not concerned a couple weeks ago when we actually had a tornado on the ground here. Nor was he concerned about my well being while he was dicking the whore.
fuck.
Me former Booger Bear ...
https://youtu.be/1TcLw3TOIN8
Hand Me Down MatchBox 20
https://youtu.be/iFdOAyyn76M
Love Falls by HellYeah
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 5:25 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
Glad you were safe from the storm bb. As for X - FTG.
I think the financial aspect of a boarder will be good for you, and may be good to realize you can handle the extra presence. And if it's not, you end it. The great part is that you are in completely in control of your own destiny here. ((Hugs))
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
fallingquickly ( member #36599) posted at 5:56 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
My daughter is in college and much prefers male housemates who are not friends. She says there is much less drama, they are good at helping, and much more polite.
This is a very good point:
I think the financial aspect of a boarder will be good for you, and may be good to realize you can handle the extra presence. And if it's not, you end it. The great part is that you are in completely in control of your own destiny here.
It's a great opportunity to stretch your comfort zone while helping yourself financially.
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)
I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken
There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.
woundedwidow ( member #36869) posted at 2:50 PM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
BB, please get a background check as well as drawing up a lease. Just because he's a military man and calls you Ma'am doesn't mean he's perfect. My last nine years of government civil service were spent investigating fraud, waste, and abuse by military members - and every case was substantiated! So please treat this as a business deal and protect yourself financially; after all, it's YOUR home.
Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.
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