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Heavy Sigh ( member #34243) posted at 1:55 PM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
I'm more concerned as to what he's doing to your finances during his mid-life crisis. He could be taking on debt - buying things for himself and for her - that you'll be responsible for paying HALF of, since the purchases were made during your marriage. Even if judge awards that debt for him to pay, creditors will still go after you for it if he refuses to pay.
You're in a pickle, since Texas does not have legal separation, from what others have written here.
While you WS is in a generous state of mind and feeling a little guilty (he will have no guilt later and will likely turn on you as his enemy), do what you can to get your names off of his charge cards and get your own. Or ask a lawyer what you can do to protect yourself financially.
Also, if he is in a home you own together, ask the lawyer if you moving out is considered abandonment, and automatically he gets it.
You do not have to file for divorce in order to get legal advice.
crushedsoul27 (original poster new member #39266) posted at 2:51 PM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
You would think in todays social media world this OW would have at least one account. She has NOTHING! no FB, twitter, instagram, linkden, pintrest, she doesn't have any of them. I don't even know what she looks like and it drives me batty. Not bc I want to know if she is prettier or anything I just don't like the vulnerability of her seeing me and knowing who I am but I could be in a resturant and her being looking right at me and I have no idea (the thought just pisses me off) OK, I've had enough of you tell me to tell the BS of my H AP so I'm going to work on that. Is the obvious question to try to do this in person? They have children and I don't want to go to her door and one of the kids answer and he's not home. I can't find him on any social media either.
I have already sought legal counsel and in TX even though I moved out in the end it is a 50/50 state so 1/2 of everything is mine no matter what. It's going to get complicated for sure since we own some properties and he has his own business. I don't have concerns about him racking up cc debt, he will pay cash for anything he wants or gets her, he and I neither are big cc spenders and while I realize it's very possible for him to turn on me during a D if that is where we go, I'm ready to put up a heavy weight champion of the world fight! I didn't spend the last 27 years of my life with someone to walk away without the confidence that I'm going to be ok financially. Someone mentioned earlier the TT effect where he is just trickeling the truth in bits at a time and he does need to come clean on everthing if he expects us to ever R but, I don't see that R is even what he wants and at times I wonder if it's what I want either.
I have not beat OW ass as someone mentioned but yes I've wanted too in my head a 1000 times. I have confronted her over texting and we talked a little that way and I did say lots of things I needed to get off my chest. I also called her employer b/c she is in outside sales for a company and came into my husbands place of business to sell advertising and that's how it all began. All of the phone logs I have from their 2.5 month affair are 90% during work hours so I informed the HR manager that she was restricting output and unethical behavoir having an affair with my husband who didn't even advertise with them so why the hell is she using her work time and cell phone to talk to a "customer" so much! Felt good to out her. I don't think they did anything but, they know and that's what mattered to me. I never told my H or WS that I called.
Me: 43
WH: 46
1DD: 23 (married and on her own)
Married almost 25 years
Together 27
DDay 2/10/13
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