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Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 1:53 AM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013
Good for you, Spelljean!
It's an awful place to be in, but it sounds like false R to me. Cake eating, yes. Perv did that very briefly and discovered that he couldn't handle it emotionally and made more problems, if you can imagine.
I'm so glad you see the proverbial forest through the trees and it shows self-respect, as well, which I'm trying to get back.
Perv did that at times he was split from OW and when he solidified things, decided he was done here.
One thing that was excruciating was living under the same roof when he was pretending to R and fighting with OW because he was a wreck and took it out on me...we became just a situation for him til he went back-FWIW, I would warn to be very, very careful having him move back, even though can it's so nerve wracking and impatient feeling to wait.
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
Abbondad ( member #37898) posted at 2:01 AM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013
I want the D done, and I want to find a nice man someday. I realize I do want that companionship of someone special
That's all I want too, Spelljean. (Replace "man" with woman.)
My WW shows absolutely no sign of remorse--never ever has--but has enjoyed thoroughly her two years of cake-eating. This bakery is finally closing. And is she pissed at me...
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
Spelljean (original poster member #35624) posted at 2:26 AM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013
Thank you for the thoughtful responses.
I appreciate all the comments and useful advice.
My best to everyone here.
WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated
LoveRising ( member #38688) posted at 3:51 PM on Wednesday, June 5th, 2013
Spelljean, what has transpired? Read your thread and can relate; just wondering how you are doing and what you decided. 
DixieD ( member #33457) posted at 4:47 PM on Wednesday, June 5th, 2013
Spelljean,
Even if your husband said he would to go to MC tomorrow -- what's the point? A lot of WS keep an affair going while they are in MC. MC doesn't have magical powers and a lot of them can be snowed by a WS.
He would need IC. MC puts emphasis that the problem is with your marriage. The problem is your husband, not your marriage.
Proceed with the divorce. (((spelljean)))
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