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Newest Member: LonelyandUnsure

Divorce/Separation :
He married OW in Hawaii. On my dime.

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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 3:11 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013

you see, the QDRO settlement went through a couple weeks ago and he got a chunk of my $$, which I am sure he promptly cashed out. Ouch, this stings!!!!

What an idiot for cashing out tax-deferred money and wasting it on such a silly thing.

I'm sure you won't care at all when the time comes, but way to go genius, putting your retirement at risk for a Hawaii wedding. Tryingagain is right on with her grasshopper/ant analogy. You have plenty of time to rebuild, but he's making one bad decision after another. So glad you're rid of this loser!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6359143
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Lyonesse ( member #32943) posted at 3:16 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013

Trying again nailed it.

Lovely location or not, knowing you are marrying somebody's damaged seconds, on his ex-wife's money, borrowed against your future...priceless. What a loser wedding, no matter what the photos look like.

Me: BS, 40's.

posts: 1956   ·   registered: Jul. 29th, 2011   ·   location: West Coast
id 6359146
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nolight ( member #32785) posted at 8:40 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013

Uugh, money well spent to dump this idiot on someone who actually deserves him.

Edited because my ipad changed "on someone who deserves him" to "in someone who deserves him" I wasn't trying to be that crude!!

[This message edited by nolight at 5:13 AM, June 3rd (Monday)]

We make our own fortunes and call them fate, and what better excuse to choose a path then to insist it's our destiny.

posts: 610   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2011
id 6359358
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Linus1968 ( member #31243) posted at 1:06 PM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013

I am with wontdefineme. Obviously, he is not good with money, and being in Hawaii, they most likely had a good time with no thought to a budget, and if the check was a sizable amount, and considering the IRS will take 1/4 to 1/3 for taxes and fees, the karma bus might be coming by your husband's stop around April 15, 2014.

I know whenever I get remarried, I will sit down with my children and talk. I won't just send a picture. Your X took away any accountability to their reactions. He does not care for them, or else he should had that conversation with them.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 17, D:15
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

posts: 257   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2011   ·   location: Florida
id 6359437
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Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 1:31 PM on Monday, June 3rd, 2013

I'm sorry, Nutmeg.

I don't know why a need is there to rub it in. I've actually asked Perv, in times of major distress, why more pain is coming, kind of trying to say, "Leave me alone. Leave us alone."

Why can't your XH or Perv (I don't want to generalize, so I use the two for example) just go away?

Sending the pictures was tacky, yes and also callous, for me a disregard for your kid's own feelings as well. But I understand it isn't about other people and is all about your XH or Perv now. I'm sorry.

Sending the pictures to your kids may also be a way to get them to you as a dig and I'm sorry for that, too.

I'm cheering you on for focusing on yourself, it's easy words to say, but not easy concepts to put into action.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

posts: 3034   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: New England
id 6359457
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