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Tiredofthepain ( member #37932) posted at 1:21 PM on Wednesday, June 5th, 2013
Wildrose. My heart aches for you. I so wish I could have known or realized just how serious my SAWS problem was in the beginning. 20 years ago I didn't know about SA and thought all he did was because he was young, stupid and curious. Two therapists also led me to think that was it was.
The cheating causes pain that is unbearable, but the lies, the complete lack of trust of anything he says, is my biggest source of pain, sadness and disappointment now. I would love to say that if your fiance gets help now that you two can work this out, but recovering from SA is a lifelong battle. They can recover, but they will always be a SA, just like an alcoholic. I have read many people say that living with a SA isn't for the faint of heart and that is true. If I didn't have 20 years invested, didn't still love him and didn't have a life that is very good outside of his SA I would not be here trying to work this marriage out. I wish you luck and HUGS!
ME-BS 48
HIM-WS 38
WS is SA, multiple visits to prostitutes.
Status: Hanging in there
I would rather be told a hurtful truth than a comforting lie.
k9lover1 ( member #8531) posted at 1:30 PM on Wednesday, June 5th, 2013
Have him take the poly - that will give you some answers hopefully.
D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late. He died an alcoholic on 9/5/17.
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