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devotedfool68 ( member #38047) posted at 4:21 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
I am noticing that all replies are coming from women.......I just wanted to add that men can trigger from clothes too. My WW came home after the ONS and showed off new underwear. This underwear, though provacative can give me pause...She also has a shirt and jeans that trigger me. the jeans not as much, but the shirt has been set aside and I plan to burn it when/if she defogs.
BH 47
WW 39 (Lost94)
DS 17
DS 16
many DDays, primary 7/4/2012 and 8/10/2012
MrsDoubtfire ( member #24786) posted at 5:21 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
I guess I'm lucky as FWH was the one who threw out all A related items before we R. He found a scarf she'd bought him which he'd forgotten about and he simply explained who had bought it, that he was sorry he'd missed it hanging up and just threw it out. Everything A related went!!
BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 7:14 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
UGH,what isn't a trigger? They themselves are and their dicks.
Right 
Amen!!!
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 7:18 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
WH used to have a t-shirt that MOW gave him that triggered me big time after DDay. I decided to write a message on the back of it about MOW being a w**** or something to that effect. 
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 1:18 PM, June 7th (Friday)]
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
libertyrocks (original poster member #38924) posted at 4:02 PM on Sunday, June 9th, 2013
Thanks everyone, we went through his dress shirts, pants, and hats. Seems he already did the same with his under clothes. It really helped big time. He even threw them in the garbage himself.
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
Sirius ( member #16001) posted at 7:04 PM on Sunday, June 9th, 2013
fWW's PA was with a Harley guy. Nothing against any Harley folks here, but obviously, that's a trigger for me now.
She had bought or got as gifts several Harley Davidson shirts, including a very nice bedazzled one that was actually kind of impressive. All were donated to Goodwill. I'd do the same if I were you.
Me: BH, 48
Her: WW, 43
Kids: 20,16,16
D-Day (E/PA): 6/02 (rugswept)
D-Day (PA): 7/11/07
R-Day: 9/16/07
D-Day (EA): 6/17/12
D-Day (E/PA #2): 1/29/16
Filed for D: 2/2/16
Divorced: 6/14/16
fallingquickly ( member #36599) posted at 7:27 PM on Sunday, June 9th, 2013
It's kind of funny but just after my first DD my reaction was to burn all the slutty lingerie and even the more elegant items that I had bought trying to make him happy. (bought the items when he seemed to be so very distant and different) Of course it never worked as he was already gone. I was hoping to get my loving husband back. All I got was a horny husband that wanted to f**k. No love making. No affection. It was quite demoralizing.
He did lose weight, get new underwear and clothes, cologne, etc in order to try to pick up women and for his LTA. He cheated so long (when out of town) that I doubt there was much other than the sweats, shorts and t-shirts he wore at home that didn't touch the whores. After DD#2 I never washed any of his clothes again. If they were mixed in with the family clothes when I went to do laundry I would sort them out.
Sadly, I now regret burning some of the lingerie. I really liked some of the items.
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)
I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken
There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.
sarahm49 ( member #37351) posted at 11:24 PM on Sunday, June 9th, 2013
My wh and I went to NYC during his 7 month affair with a mow. While there with friends who like to shop he all of a sudden became interested in buying new clothes. I was thrilled! This is a guy that has items 30 years old in his closet that I don't let him wear! We went to banana republic and he spent an hour picking out clothes. I bought nothing. He didn't even ask if I liked them. Just showed me what he was buying.
Post A. I threw it all out. Every pair of underwear, all the new clothes. Our family van he used for fucking her and now after reading this I am going to look for anything else.
BS:Me 50
WH:50
D-Day Oct 20,2012
TT until final disclosure Dec 21, 2012 at polygraph.
Married 24 years
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