SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

In my state, it's already part of law that medical/dental expenses are split between the parents and the cost is added to base CS. The split does not have to be 50/50 but rather is generally based on the parents' relative incomes. However the state specifies a $250 deductible per child per year to be paid by CP before NCP starts kicking in.

I asked for the same provision to be applied to extra-curricular expenses. My Ex agreed after his lawyer said it was "standard". I also offered a $250 deductible per child per year.

It's important to list in the decree everything you can think of that should be considered extra-curricular. For example: sports, music, class trips, camp, prom, auto insurance premium, etc.

Since we have two children, we each take responsibility for one child's cell phone.

I am very envious of all of you on here that have the ex help pay for fees above and beyond CS.

My ex makes over double my salary (I am a teacher, he is corporate) and he does not split activities, summer camps, school supplies ... basically ANYTHING beyond the decree stipulated medical expenses.

He has "generously" agreed to pay one THIRD of their private school tuition (which I get discounted 75% per my position). I pay 2/3.

It is what it is. I make sure my kids are taken care of.

FWIW, I have several friends who DO have the 50/50 on extracurriculars in their decree, but the exes get out of it by the "agreed upon" clause. They just disagree on the activity...thus, no splitting.

FlySomeday, it's your child support agreement--ask for what your children need. Every family is different Your settlement can be anything you two agree on.

We split unreimbursed medical expenses, music lessons, sports fees and equipment, and a couple other extracurricular items. All these items are specified in the child support agreement.

There is a big disparity in our incomes, so the actual split is 68% him, 32% me.

You have a great chance to customize your mediated settlement to suit your needs. If divorcing couples can settle these things in mediation, it's the best way to do it.

Don't forget to think about driving lessons, car insurance, and the purchase of appropriate cars for teens if you can swing it.

When you're thinking about college down the road, remember application fees, SAT test fees, AP test fees, travel expenses to visit colleges, and other related expenses quite separate from the actual college tuition and housing costs.

Good luck.

[This message edited by josie11 at 7:31 PM, June 7th (Friday)]

seriously, love you all so much. Such good feedback and advice from everyone! Thank you.

seriously, love you all so much. Such good feedback and advice from everyone! Thank you.