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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 8:21 AM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013
You need to remember that your WH has most likely lied to OW about you, probably told her all sorts of horrible things about you to justify the affair, so she has reasons to lie to you. False reasons, but reasons..
You have no idea what she thinks of you.. I'm seriously doubting she sees you as the poor betrayed spouse who deserves the truth..
I communicated with MOW a couple times via text during false R, but all she did was lie to me and relay what my STBX told her to say to me. If you contact her, I think you might give *them* a reason to be in contact so they can get their stories straight and continue to talk about *their* feelings.. That was my experience anyway..
I agree to try to verify his words by other resources and ignore her.. I think it's better to stay away from her whether you reconcile or not..
Big hugs to you..
pewpewpew ( member #38116) posted at 11:55 AM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013
I do not recommend contacting OW.
I agree that most likely your email came from OW. Usually, the only reason the AP tells the BS about the A is to break up the marriage.
In my situation, after the A went underground, I did contact the OW.
She lied. My WH and OW had come up with their story and they were sticking to it.
Almost hurts worst - that they were working together to keep their secret. 
BS - 32
DDay 1: July 2012 - EA with COW
DDay 2: March 2015; same COW
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, pack your shit and get out.
Fool me twice, now what?!?!
WeepingBuddhist ( member #39139) posted at 2:33 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013
Another vote for NOT contacting the OW. That person is not relevant to you or your healing; focus on your happiness and what you can do to feel safe. good luck!
Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14
FightingBack ( member #34770) posted at 2:38 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013
I contacted MOW before I found SI.
I had a three hour coffee with her.
She said things that verified what my H told me was true. She also said a lot of things that I will never forget such as "You have to stop thinking about me in bed with your husband". and "if there was nothing wrong with your marriage, he wouldn't have been with me". She said much more but I was in a daze and can't remember.
Would I do it again? No.
Please listen to the wisdom in these replies.
She will tell you what makes HER feel better, whether it helps you or not. She will also lie, without a doubt.
She told me things that almost made me give up on reconciliation. If anything influences you one way or the other, let it NOT be her.
Good luck
Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!
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