SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Tripledouble, I know what you mean.

Although not everyone thought my x-wife was a pillar of the community, she had alot of people fooled with her fake smile and was never genuine when talking to people.

But what my x-wife did backfired on her. She thought by badmouthing me with lies before anyone could find out she was a cheater, she thought she'd drum up support and gain friends. ....She didn't.

Numerous people came to me telling me what she is saying and the only reason they told me is they didn't believe her, because they knew me and knew she was trying to get people on her side.

Too bad that can't happen in your situation. If Mr. Triple really has everyone fooled, if they found out he cheated, then those people that think he is so great will probably think its your fault he cheated...that you must have done something, or denied him something to make him cheat.

I can't stand people that make excuses for them. They are almost just as bad as the cheater themselves.

[This message edited by nofool4u at 4:16 PM, June 17th (Monday)]

I am also married to "Mr. Wonderful". It is so wearying. He is looked up to at work. Everyone at church thinks he's great. When our rector solicited volunteers to read parts of the Passion on Palm Sunday, it was all I could do not to volunteer my wonderful FWH for the role of Judas Iscariot.

OW is Ms. Wonderful. A veritable paragon. She even won a Chamber of Commerce Woman of Excellence award in 2006, during the height of their A. (Excellence in what, moral turpitude?)

If anyone heard what either of them had been up to, they probably wouldn't believe it.

[This message edited by SadFlower at 6:10 PM, June 17th (Monday)]

Oh Man Triple!

I've always been made to feel like I married up and he's the better half. Sickening.

You hit it right on the head! I was taking with Mr. Happy about this post yesterday.

Yes, I read it to him...BOOM! After all of this betrayal crap, I don't spare the rod!

He can take it!

I come from the worst family background. Look up Dysfuntional Family and you will see all of our snarky, smiley faces! UGH!

Him...Mom and Dad, 2 kids, suburban life, he was a 3 time letterman...blah, blah, super blah!

Whodathunkit!

You all made me feel better with your stories of cheaters wearing halos!!

I guess the take away here is you never know what is happening, has happened, or is going to happen in another couple's relationship, but I will make a mental note never to tell anyone how great their spouse is.

Triple, only thing I can add is, there are probably more those than not that don't buy his pillar of the community aura.

People won't say things to his face, but rest assured, they are talking about him in private if they know what he has done.

That's the sucky part Nofool - I've kept his dirty secret so our teenagers don't have to be humiliated. Really, as the mother of a teenage daughter, I would be reluctant to let her hang out at a friends house if I knew the dad had been a member of f*ck buddy website - I would think he was a perv and she was unsafe. I have to think of their needs ahead of mine and protect the secret.

I would like to hear more about the wrath of a narcissist unmasked.

I've read some about this and I am convinced my WH is one. Its one of the reasons I'm against R (its in my con-column)

I opened this thread because I too get so sick of hearing what a wonderful dad and husband WH is.

Wow, yes. I. Am. Married. To. The best. Guy. Ever.

I actually used to say, if we get divorced it will be my fault!

I have kept the whole thing to myself, like 5 people know, so I hear this ALL the time.

So why does a great guy cheat? Isn't that what we are asking? In my case, 1.5 years out, I am still discovering (trying to anyway) the answers in MC. I am haunted by the idea that he cheated because he could. That suggests he has no moral compass and how do you correct that? Can you? Maybe it is deeper, he was the child of a narcissist and had no voice so he rebelled and had a pattern of creating a private persona. I don't f...ing know.

I hate that too. I had friends tell me how lucky I am to have a husband that is such a great dad, husband, blah blah blah. I got sick of it and flat out told some of them yeah I am so lucky to have a man cheat on me twice. Shut them right up.

Raises her hand. Also married to mr. Popular. The life of the party. Especially in his foo, where his brother, the divorced recovering sex addict gets to have his face rubbed in The OAI perfect family, especially Mr. OAI, his big brother. Yeah, I am the spoiled b$#%ch if anything should tear this union apart.

That's the sucky part Nofool - I've kept his dirty secret so our teenagers don't have to be humiliated.

Well that is wise. You are sacrificing your own desires for your children. That is the right call.

Like you said, sucky, but your kids come first. At least YOU care about their well being.

I can't tell you how many women have told me how lucky I am. He's so patient and funny, he coaches, its usually.a parent of a kid on the ream. Even my kids roll their eyes now.

A couple of.yrs ago we had a an argument, well not really, just him verbally assaulting me before a game. We pull up and out of the car comes the awesome Mr ostrich, not the asshole I lived with. He headed to the field and one of the moms gave me the.look and started the how lucky I was speech. I looked her square in the eye and said hmmm he just called me the c word 5 min before we got here and had both of his kids crying in the car....you can have him cuz he's not much fun to live with. It gets old plus a lot of the moms think I'm a sourpuss that awesome guy has to live with because I'm usually upset when we get there and don't smile as much as him.

Well that is wise. You are sacrificing your own desires for your children. That is the right call.

Like you said, sucky, but your kids come first. At least YOU care about their well being

Thank you for noticing no fool - its not like Mr Triple gave it a thought. Ugh.

And Ostrich I am so over showing up places and Mr Triple is all charisma and I'm in a toxic mood because of the situation.

I just didn't think he was stupid enough to join a hook up site and put his damn face and real phone number on there.

I'm also married to the "perfect" husband, who coincidentally, was a member of AFF. He never put a pix up, but he did on "Hot or Not." When I said "WTF??!!" He said it was just for fun and it's not the same as AFF. I pointed out he didn't mention that he's married in his profile. (I'd love to know what's "hot" about a balding fat fool.)

Like you, I have chosen not to tell our kids. I don't think our middle daughter would ever speak to him again. She has such hatred for her mother-in-law who cheated and left her husband.

When our youngest recently called to wish "happy anniversary to the best parents ever", he got the phone. I was busy so I never spoke to her. afterwards he said it made him feel like a heel.

While I know that screaming it from the rooftops would make me feel better, it would devastate our kids.

In the meantime, I sit and smile when friends say what a great guy I have. I used to say "I don't know how he puts up with me." Now I say "he's the lucky one."

Living, I love that response. If you don't mind, I am going to use it the next time someone tells me that "you must be so happy, your H treats you so well."

Tripletrouble,

You've said everything that I've been trying to put together in my head for weeks. Mine is also very successful and generous to others. If only they knew his true colors. I was the one who supported him and helped him get to where he is today. I was there when he was a nobody. I can completely relate when you say why you've tried to keep things private. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad to read the other posts here too. I never wanted to be "common" either.

Can totally relate. My WH was a priest. Everyone thinks he is a saint and worships the ground he walks on. He cheated on me for nearly 4 years whilst preaching the 10 commandments from the pupit

I'd love to know what's "hot" about a balding fat fool.

Hilarious!!!!! I needed the laugh today!