SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Although I would like to see some emotional pain inflicted on her, I don't dwell on it. I wish her no harm physically. I figure she's been on hold for well over 5 yrs and he's not spent one night away from home..so I suppose its gotta be somewhat difficult for her to know he's home every night. I don't want him here and can't wait to.be done with it all, but she doesn't know that.

I TOTALLY hear you! I too have wished great emotional pain on OW. Just not by me, I wanted her wronged in the same way I was wronged. I wanted her to feel what it feels like to have a husband of 17 years cheat, lie and leave you for someone he barely knows.

But I know WH very well. I know his limitations and how much he shrinks from "demands" being placed on him by literally anyone. I know his level of immaturity and his extreme simplicity. I know he seriously can't continue to be Mr. Charming forever, pretend to be deeper than he really is, pretend to like things he really hates--and her punishment will be to have WH all to her sad little self.

I subscribe to the concept that living a happy life is the best revenge.

Of course if evidence of your happy life is posted publicly on Facebook or Pinterest or such and the AP happens to see it while stalking you, then that's an extra bonus.

Seriously though, don't go after the AP. Either they care about your life or they don't.

If they don't care about you and your WS, then any of your attempts at revenge will just serve to amuse them.

If they are still pining after your WS and perhaps stalking you online, then you living a happy life really will be the most hurtful thing they could see. And it's best for them to find it on their own, not have it sent to them by you.

But the most important reason to live a happy life is because you deserve it after all you have been through.

I plot and plan, too. But that's as far as it goes. I would do something if fear didn't prevent me. I say post on cheaterville.com so if someone googles her name what she did will come up. It's true, her very own actions, it's not your secret to keep so I feel OK in the Karma/God department!

I think the only thing that gives me any kind of comfort, in knowing that it is just a matter of time before he cheats on her. He cheated on his second wife. He cheated on me, his third wife and I'd give him about 6 more years. Then she will know the devastation, pain and harm her actions have caused. She will understand that he lied to her, that I was not the cold hearted bitch that he has portrayed me to be, just another victim of his selfish, narcissistic ways. So, I don't worry about that.

He's the real prick here. He's the one that I can't wait for the karma bus to nail his ass, and roll over him a second time for good measure. The bastard can rot in hell for all eternity for all I care.

Actually, he will never be truly happy. He's a broken man, will always be running after that elusive love, that elusive happiness. Will work himself to death, surround himself with things and on the day he dies, his step children and former wives will not shed a tear but spit on his grave.

At the end of the day revenge scenarios are distractions. Mental exercises to allow our brains to fantasize a bit.

My favourite one had to do with marrying OW's father. She is 20 yrs younger than my partner and her dad (divorced from her mom) can only be 10? yrs older than me?

So Christmas will be easier? No? OW is now my step daughter? My ex is now my son in law and I'm his Mother in law! My own daughter is now step grand daughter? She will, of course, be spoiled accordingly.

Point is, it's a digression from what we we have to walk through. No going around it. But sometimes we need a diversion to give the hurt a rest.