SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

With that said, I don't attribute positives to the A. I do however attribute positives to uncovering it, discovering the truth and experiencing the pain. The A itself was a selfish childish act that hurt a lot of people. That does not negate the fact that I take opportunity to learn from life, we all should. Could I have learned all these things without the A, yes. Would I realistically learned all these things without the A, probably not. In that respect, I embrace it the same way I do other horrific events in my life, not as something that is imposed on me, but instead something that is out of my control that has a lesson to teach me.

Well said, thanks wert!

If I read one more time

"The affair was the best thing to happen to our marriage"

I was going to puke.

No it wasn't. It was like living in hell and trying to swim through quick sand. It fricking sucked. By the grace of God somehow we are making it through but no it is not on my top ten list of our marriage successes.

You can build a better, stronger marriage because of the time and commitment you put into it but NO the affair was not positive.

Ugh

There truly are no positives from the indescribable pain of my WH's A.

We could have fixed our broken M before his willful selfish act of destruction. I knew we were having problems; he refused to deal with them. We could have grown and healed the M if he had been willing to face his demons when I begged him but he always knew better. Now he sees himself realistically.

The only positive is that I'll never blindly trust anyone again.

I tell my BH and others who know about the A that I hate what I did and how ugly the A was but that I am happy it gave BH and I a chance to have a real marriage instead of the roommate type of marriage we had begun to have.

I can't take back what I did and I live with the consequences but we both agree that this was the wake up call that actually saved our marriage.

The resulting 180 was the best thing that happened to our marriage - how about that? I just wish I'd known to kick him out first, before the affair started, and we'd be much further down the path to healing.

My H A's were horrible times in my life. There was no good things during the A and shortly after. The only so called good things that came out of the A were from me not him. I was the one who showed him unconditional love. I showed him grace and mercy. I helped him through this.

We both came out of the A's better people, but it was because of the choices I made not my H. His choices where nothing but bad and hurtful.

Yes positive things can surround the A despite the A. Those positive things are solely the results of us BS not the WS.

Absolutely nothing positive. I am very resilient and how my mind worked was to look at bad things and see if any good could come from it...not in this case.

My brain won't let me, the hurt was too much, the betrayal was too great to ever spin this into a 'positive'.

This is a line that will never be crossed. I will never be the same.

they say what doesn't kill youwill make you stronger...the only thing positive that came out of this A is that I am stronger...different in many good ways, but our M is not. Yes, we interact better and really enjoy each other's company better, but what was lost is gone forever...I don't think most WS understand that, so the loss is not theirs...they just see the good stuff.

Blameitontherain i think the post your talking about was mine, lol

Yeah my WH thinks his EA helped make us relise what we had and everything is "hunky dory".

While i just think his on planet .