SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

SisterM,

I can"t do the cut and paste with my phone at the moment, but the last 2 lines of your post made me

I had a similar experience with our wannabe OW. Good for you and your happy pics!

I have an alternate FB account. Through that I befriended xOw1's new H. The one she told me she was M when I called her just after my d-day for the A with xOw2. Why do I have him as a friend? Honestly, I like having the power of knowledge over her. There is something in her life, no matter how benign, that she doesn't know. She doesn't know I found out her M name. She doesn't know this person on her H's friend's list is her former friend, the woman she helped betray.

It also helped because in late '07, we went to a game at our old college. I saw a woman that looked suspiciously like xOw1. She suddenly threw her arms around a tall white guy (she's half Korean) and buried her face in his chest. Once I found the FB page, I realized that was him (they're big tailgaters at the college games). I'm actually thrilled. She got to see me at looking great without trying, I was at my lowest weight thanks to the ID and she has gained weight. My only regret is MrH was walking ahead, as he usually does. but I had my cute DD hanging off of me and DS nearby and they're what matter to me the most.

I also have xOw2's xBH as a friend. I do this out of guilt. I had proof they were filing for D (MD puts court records online). I hesitated telling him of the A because MrH's job was at risk, hers wasn't. I found the xBH's FB after the D was final and I realized he likely wouldn't have gone after the job. While I wouldn't mind MrH's @ss getting kicked, I didn't want the kids to suffer. Justification, I know. So I'm friends with the xBH and check in now and then, making sure they aren't deciding to date again (like some do after D). If they do, I will tell the whole truth. I ask here now and then as to whether I should tell him anyhow, but I never get many responses and usually they're split. A deep part of me feels like I could solve the mystery of the end of his M, another part of me says he's escaped from the truth and the deep deep pain, I can give him the gift of sparing him that.

I don't stalk or obsess. In fact, I nearly forgot the login info the last time. I simply rest in knowing I could upend either xOw's world by sharing the truth of their actions. Even more, knowing that even at my weakest, I made better choices than they did. Except maybe about the xBH.

OW1 and OW2 both blocked me! Me, the big bad nasty WIFE However, I've logged in under another name and looked at some of their pics and had a laugh.

On one of OW1's photos, she written 'I look like an overinflated basketball'. Um, yep you sure do

OW3 doesn't have a FB page but I'm not that interested in her - I feel sorry for her, she's stuck with WH now!

Used to while I was trying to work on the marriage, then stbxh broke NC with The OW that was causing the trouble between us, for the umpteen time, and contacted another ex for the exit move cherry on top.

When that happened I told stbxh to take down all photos of me, and I blocked stbxh and OW, felt soooo good! That's what I call going "dark"

[This message edited by darklilly23 at 9:06 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]

I do. Her page is an open book (other than the LTR with my husband). Yesterday she posted an article about how we need to encourage girls to explore their sexuality so that they can feel free to initiate with men when they get older. I don't disagree with the thought but the fact that sexual issues were one of the reasons my husband felt he deserved an affair and she posted it the day after telling me they were still together makes me think she suspects I check her out on FB and makes me think I should stop. I just check periodically to get a sense of her mood, to see if they were still together (fewer posts during their off times)