SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

We are still legally married, but have been S and in NC for 2 years, and I still have all evidence, including printed out copies of his conversations on FB etc., and phone bills of calls & texts and etc.

It is in a briefcase and the briefcase is between my desk and the wall so I never see it. But I know it's there if I ever want it.

Since we are not yet D, I think it's good to keep that evidence. Someday I may give him copies of it all after the D just so he will know that I really did know for a fact the things I told him I knew -- if you can follow that.

I doubt that I'll ever get rid of it. It's a reminder to me that I never ever want to get romantically involved with anyone again.

Because my STBX isn't "just" a cheater, because he is a sexual pervert who includes in his perversion young girls, my evidence has been shared with many others and will probably be kept by me under lock & key until my children are grown & out of the house.

This, but boys. I kept a big box of legal papers until my youngest turned 18 and I was concurrently going through recovery post stbx Dday. I found it cathartic to throw away 90% of it, only keeping enough info to protect any future grandbabies from x.

I just havent had time to purge stbx junk, but that will be easy. As soon as I remember where I put it.

I still have my bag of evidence but I have it at work. I also still have a file of evidence at an email that I use were all reports of my keylogg that I have on the computer go to. I have not gone through it I feel like I need to create like a journal out of it but never really do. I have had the urge to just get rid of it but like others I'm scared to let it go for fear of others not believing me, but I think mostly because I feel that if I get rid of it it will feel like it wasn't real that I had made it up all in my mind. Having it there touching it being able to see it just confirms to me that it did happen. Don't know maybe later on down the road with WH gets his act together and tells me the whole truth and we really do R truthfully then maybe I'll get rid of it all or finally compose that journal and gift it to him along with all the feelings I felt at that moment etc. Don't know but for the time being it is an anchor so I won't go crazy and think all this was made up in my head because after DDay1 my WH did literally make me crazy to the point that I felt that I was making something out of nothing, but this tangible evidence anchored me down from being manipulated by him.

I really don't have any evidence. In Feb of 2010 I had seen on the cell phone bill where they were texting and calling non stop. I took his phone and all I seen was one text saying she missed him. That was when it was still an EA. I confronted him then, he texted her and said he would no longer be talking to her. Found out later that she had started to email him 2 weeks later and he finally started respinding to her a week after that. I checked for a few months, seen nc on the phone and thought it was over. I was trusting and stupid. When he confessed the truth almost 11 months ago I had no idea it had been going on and had turned into a PA. Sometimes I wish I had some evidence, but then other times I am glad I don't. I really don't think I could handle reading the emails... And I know I would be obsessive about reading them every day, no matter how much it would hurt.