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SuperDuperWonderboy ( member #34716) posted at 6:55 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Chiming in. I sure as hell wouldn't be o.k. with it.
Hell, my guy friends go on a boys trip every year to vegas. I have never gone, because why the hell would I put myself in a situation like that.
I don't know your husband's friends, but my friends that go are pretty typical guys, and nothing good happens there.
My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.
letitout ( member #38288) posted at 7:03 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
My Wh took his prostitute to vegus on vacation! No way in H would I go to vegus for any reason after what he told me what they did.
BW 57, WH 66, 19 yo twins
Married 28 years
2 years of $$$$$$ prostitutes.
LoveActually ( member #31030) posted at 11:13 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
No way should he go. He shouldn't even consider going. Trust me, you would be in agony wondering what he was up to. You don't deserve to be put through anymore right now- and at 5 weeks out you probably don't have any idea how fragile you really are, but I assure you once he is on a plane to Vegas it would hit you like a ton of bricks. My husband had to miss his cousins bachelor party (they are very close too) that he was looking so forward too because of his choices--not mine. He didn't even ask me if he could go--he knew that it wasn't an option. He told his cousin that work got in the way, etc., to get out of the trip. I told my husband the other day that no one will ever know how special trust is until it's gone--to freely trust someone is a gift--a gift I will never get back or anyone who has been betrayed by their spouse will get back either. Sad.
[This message edited by LoveActually at 5:13 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]
BS (Me) WS (Him) D-Day 5/29/09Married 15 yrs, together 20 yrs
IRN2006 ( member #23717) posted at 4:54 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
My husband is a recovering SA. We are 5.5 years past D-Day.
His brother is not yet married, but it's common for my BIL/friends to go to Vegas for a few days for the Bachelor Party.
I told my husband Vegas is off the table. For good.
nuance ( member #28793) posted at 5:22 AM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
When I go to Vegas I call her every night before bed no matter what time. And I never did anything. And I'm glad to do it albeit tired some times.
I think it depends on the friends too. I'd let my FWW go with some friends but not others...
Dday May 2000. R'ed.
People suck.
heforgotme ( member #38391) posted at 5:44 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Either you go with him or he doesn't go. This is the only solution I can see.
D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry
sportsfan ( member #9918) posted at 6:32 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2013
The consensus here is that he shouldn't go ... I'm sure you expected this. So are you strong enough to demand that he stays home?
IMHO he should've already told his friends that he's changed his mind. That he hasn't is concerning.
ILINIA (original poster member #39836) posted at 12:07 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013
Here is an update....we brought it up at the end of MC and the counselor, was asking him why he needed to go and he explained why. The counselor then said, "I think if they are good friends, they will let it slide, but I think we need to talk about this during your IC."
We have a few weeks before he goes, but he just bought the plane tickets last week, therefore, my anxiety hit an all-time high.
He showed me the "agenda" for the trip. It involves two fantasy football drafts one Friday night and one Saturday. He thinks because they have these drafts that they won't be doing the "typical" Vegas trip. Now, Vegas is Vegas and all of you had such great points that I could use such as, "what about the table top dances in the casinos? How about the bars with dancers? And the women that don't really care what happens in Vegas? It is pretty much and adult Spring break."
I think he is coming around. He hasn't done a good job keeping in touch with his friends and with our marriage in crisis, I think he was hoping to reconnect with his friends so they could support him. I do think he's honest about that, but he can reconnect somewhere else.
So it is a work-in-progress and I am curious what they will chat about in IC, but I think he will be staying home. If not, I think we will need to separate....
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