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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 6:12 AM on Monday, August 12th, 2013
NG, you are an awesome mom that looks to do the 'right' thing for your kids and to protect them at all costs.
You tell your kids (orally) whatever you feel is necessary for them to know so that all of you can weather this shit-storm.
Don't put ANYTHING in black & white writing.
That 'clause' is crap. For it to have any real punch, it should have gotten a lot more detailed and specific.....
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Griefstricken25 ( member #29183) posted at 7:49 AM on Monday, August 12th, 2013
So, I can say yes, he cheated on me. I can't say he's a disgusting perverted sack of shit who cheated on me. Would that be about what you're saying?
Exactly.
Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011
gypsybird87 ( member #39193) posted at 12:38 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
IMHO, lying to your kids or covering up the truth is a sure fire way to "diminish" the love, respect, affection etc that they have for YOU. How can a court ask you to do that?
XWH had similar verbage in his divorce decree with his kids mother. His interpretation was that it meant no saying things like "Mommy and Daddy divorced because you were bad" or "Daddy left because you were bad and he doesn't love you anymore". "You have to pick who you want to love, Mom or Dad." etc... stuff like that.
The truth is the truth, and that includes his affair. Answering the kids honestly but in a way that is appropriate for their age is enough in my opinion.
As someone somewhere on here said...He fired you as his wife. It is no longer your job to protect him and his secrets.
The kids will find out the whole truth as they get older... you don't want them to feel you were dishonest or kept something from them.
Best of luck... I don't envy you the position you're in.
((hugs!))
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
Snapdragon ( member #4286) posted at 3:34 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2013
Hmmm.... I'm thinking that you add a clause of your own stating that he must correct his previous remarks to the children, confess to them his responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage, and apologize for the lies and attempts at alienation of the children against their mother.
That ought to give him a stroke!
Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.
"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink
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