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Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 4:36 PM on Thursday, August 29th, 2013
How do you let go of those feelings of resentment and hatred towards someone and keep up NC when you get so worked up??
It's when you are getting worked up that NC is most important. There is no magic combination of words that will make him realize he is a douche and should stop. No words will fix him. He wants attention, any attention will do. You getting worked up gives him exactly what he wants, no matter what you say.
Tell your sister to quit updating you on him calling her. If she doesn't want to be in the middle she is doing a crap job of it. He can go through the courts if he doesn't like talking to you.
[This message edited by Crescita at 10:37 AM, August 29th (Thursday)]
“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
She11ybeanz (original poster member #27457) posted at 4:41 PM on Thursday, August 29th, 2013
Tell your sister to quit updating you on him calling her. If she doesn't want to be in the middle she is doing a crap job of it. He can go through the courts if he doesn't like talking to you.
I talked with my sister for a while this morning.....took a break from my desk and went outside. I told her that I have gone almost 3 months without talking to him and I want to continue to do so. I told her to ignore him and do not email him ...do not call him...do not respond to him and block him from everything.
I completely agree. He wants attention and he is NOT going to get it from me. It was hard.... but I have not emailed him and have no intentions to do so. 
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 10:13 PM on Thursday, August 29th, 2013
How do you let go of those feelings of resentment and hatred towards someone and keep up NC when you get so worked up??
Sheer willpower at first - you fake it till you make it and one day you realise you're not faking it.
The root of most anger is a deep hurt. Realising that helped me see that in unleashing hell on him I was showing him my underbelly. That fucker won't be seeing my underbelly every again in my life.
You also need to make sure to stop people when they give you ANY info about him. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.
It is not easy but NC = No New Hurts. Remind yourself of this when you are worked up.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
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