SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

cantaccept - thanks.

That hit home. I may not like to admit it, but the level of intimacy we have achieved post A might never have been attained without first experiencing the devastation of the bottom dropping out.

I know as a person, I am much more relationship oriented than I ever was in the past. For example - The A came at a time when my mother was in late stages of cancer and with the benefit of tools gained from attending a worldwide marriage encounter weekend I was able to communicate heartfelt feelings with my mother and establish a closeness that I will always cherish.

I'm just not a fan of labels. As humans, we grow, change, mature, etc. Labels do not grow with you. At least that's my opinion.

MissiJ, I like your tag line I really need to keep that in mind. I have allways felt inferior to my BH He allways seemed so incontrol, methodic, logical. All things I am not, and wished I could be. When he talked I allways felt stupid, his was always black and white, me I can never get the words out to make myself understood or even know exactly what or is wrong. I just know its not right. If that makes sense. I defenitly hate labels and even more so now. They are not fair. We talk about not labeling our children in school and yet is done all the time. we label because of the way somebody looks, or the vehicle they drive or their yard or the way the smell. And yet I still label myself .

I guess I haven't found the courage to step out of this place. Its safe to feel bad. Cause to feel good and proud of my changes and the want to be happy when my BH just doesn't seem to be able to seems unfair. I am loyal and I am faithful to y spouse today and the future. This I believe in and this is who I want to be, the traits I want to grow. Thank you all again for your opinions and thoughts. They have very much helped me.

It's like marriage vows, my wh committed to me. Since dday he's like "I chose you". I'm like wow thanx I thought u chose me on your wedding day. I think sufferers of long term affairs r more jaded. Sorry I'm writing this not knowing if u were lt or not. Anyway, my husband using faithful and loyal right now would make me sob and laugh at the same time. If it had been a short affair I know I would have recovered faster and given him back those words. That's not the case so i don't know.

The fact u wrote such a heart felt post shows, I think, u deserve to use those words again!