SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I would consider this your body's literal and figurative way of celebrating getting the shit out of your life and leave it at that.

Congratulations on the start of your NB.

I get it. It's a yucky feeling.

(((NG)))

((((NG)))) we both have awful sexually perverse xwh's. My divorce was final today and my body also went out of my control. I couldn't stand and shook uncontrollably (not a jittery shake, I almost vibrated, it was awful and a little scary). I think it is the release of all the anxiety and fear one carries around about such men being in your life and near your kids. And all the hurt... So so much hurt.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. (((NG)))

[This message edited by BrokenDaisy at 1:16 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]

Well I hope you soon feel joy from being finished with the crap that he put you through.

In the meantime, is there any way you could be sitting in his car when you finally let go. Just a little present to say goodbye.

In the meantime, is there any way you could be sitting in his car when you finally let go. Just a little present to say goodbye

What a fun thing to imagine!

And if I peed while doing it he'd probably get off!

(((((NG)))))

I think the pain of this is so primal that your body takes over and deals with it the best way it can-to get rid.

Have you thought about taking a homeopathic remedy for this?

After DDay I felt really nauseous all the time and was popping about 10 times a day. I couldn't eat either.

My friend who is a homeopath prescribed me a remedy that really helped to calm my insides. Though I can't remember the name.

It might be worth finding out what you can take. I know rescue remedy helps to calm nerves too.

Sending you strength.

I'm sorry, NG. I've been told it's nerves sometimes.

Even though we know it's coming, it was so hard for me to see the papers with our names in such capacity that I would throw up at first without any advance notice. I had to have a trusted relative read the papers for a time and describe them.

And seeing the pages in black and white is so...final.

I find myself mulling my physical reaction over & over. I am left just gently shaking my head and reminding myself that I am still vulnerable. I am far from healed from the trauma of the abuse and the pain of the cheating. As I intentionally move towards integrating my emotions and my intellect, I need to accept that my body is now more free to react viscerally.

I had thought that as this nightmare drew to a close I'd get lighter & more joyous, similar to how I was when we separated. Instead I find I'm feeling heavier, darker and even depressed. I may be going through another anger phase. I'm also feeling frightened for my long-term future.

Gah. Another dark night of the soul phase.

((NG))

My D was not particularly contentious. When it was finalized 5+ years after Dday I still had a good cry and very physical response to it all. I feel better now but it really hit me. Its a big deal. Your reaction seems with in the realm of normal for this crap.

NG - I am sorry for the low. Alot of anxiety and fear can have that reaction. I am going to recommend a CD to you, that I seem to be telling everyone about because it is phenomenal. It is called "Guided Imagery to Help with Heartbreak, Abandonment and Betrayal."

I had the CD called Healing Trauma: Guided Imagery for Posttraumatic Stress a few years back and it really helped me. I had forgotten about this one. Nature, I used it when I was in agony and the CD was pretty deep. I didn't know how to meditate at all, but this CD really was great for me.

I will look for the Abandonment one, too. Thanks, Missy!

Not to t/j too much, but Nature, I'm one year out from divorcing my sociopathic sex- addicted abuser. (SSAA?) I'm still in therapy and it's working. You'll get through this. There are lots of stages, but things will get better!!!

Once the divorce was final, I did feel a lot of relief...I was shaky and crying heavily. But the queasiness was from the fear he still wouldn't leave me alone.