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Laura28 ( member #28997) posted at 9:48 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
"Married means MARRIED you moron!" and "Things that every WS needs to know"
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=324250
are my two favourite pieces on SI.
I often think that when a newbie first comes here and tells us they have JFO our first piece of advice should be to print these two and give them to the WS. (I sure wish I had had them on that awful night).
A little shock therapy 
might wake them up.
HUGS
Laura
Married 42yrs Me BW 68Yrs Him F?WH 70yrs OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted. Dday May 28 2010. OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years). OW2 2002(8yrs PA). OW3 2009(1Yr PA). Others?? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck 'em"
Kierst13 ( member #39197) posted at 10:09 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
Something must be wrong with me, I am a BS and I don't find it interesting or funny. It's an over-generalization that puts everything wrong with the marriage on the WS.
Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!
Truly ( member #40715) posted at 10:09 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
Awesome...but so sad that this applies to ALL cheaters...and they all think they are so 'unique' and 'different' and even 
'in love'
Nope. All the same.
Sigh
There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens
Exit Wounds ( member #32811) posted at 10:10 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
Thanks Crushed1 
Exit WoundsH of 17 years got gf pregnant, left our kids 9 & 11 and we never saw him again. -His choice.
jackie89 ( member #38271) posted at 10:36 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
iwillNOT ( member #40605) posted at 11:09 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
Me: BS, 46
Him: WH, 47
Together 24 years
4 amazing kids
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Choosing myself daily and R almost every
LadyLove ( member #40664) posted at 11:40 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013
BW - 50 (me)
WH - 51 Ladyslove
DDay Fall 2012
Don't know if I can live with it.
Always trust your gut. It knows what your head hasn't yet figured out. - Unknown
marlie2014 ( member #40981) posted at 1:03 AM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
Except for the profanity (sorry, I know it doesn't bother most people) I LOVE THIS!!!!
But...English is WS's second language, so it wouldn't have the same impact for him. And it would take me forever to really translate it well into Spanish. Oh,well.
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild
DDay: 9/2/2013
DIVORCED AND FREE!!!!
Snapdragon ( member #4286) posted at 3:37 AM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
Something must be wrong with me, I am a BS and I don't find it interesting or funny. It's an over-generalization that puts everything wrong with the marriage on the WS.
No it doesn't. It places all of the responsibility of the cheating on the WS. It places all of the responsibility of being selfish, self-centered, and immature on the WS.
At least that is my interpretation. I would be interested in hearing more about your thoughts, though.
Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.
"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink
Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 3:46 AM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
WORD
My stupid WH said "something was missing" when he joined AFF. Yes Ass, your brain and your moral compass and your ability to link consequences to actions all went missing.
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
tlsmi ( member #6558) posted at 3:47 AM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
It is sarcasm. Wonderfully put, I might add. It is NOT our fault no matter how those fuckers try to spin it.
Not our fault they cheated. Let's think of other ways they could have dealt with their problems with marriage...um, counseling, TAlKING, seperation, divorce? Many other avenues available. But no, they fuck somebody else. Don't put this shit on me.
I loved this and think it should be required reading for all.
JustDone ( member #9742) posted at 4:05 AM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
Here you go, Blobette:
Madhatter
Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.
JustDone ( member #9742) posted at 4:05 AM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
double post 
[This message edited by JustDone at 10:05 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)]
Madhatter
Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.
Crushed1 (original poster member #6449) posted at 7:16 AM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
I still remember my H's face when my H read this, you should have seen him squirming and blushing. It busted his little 'secret' fantasy bubble in his mind for good.
~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH
Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 12:57 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
I want to send this to every married person posting on CL. They ALL need this truth!!!
DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014
million pieces ( member #27539) posted at 12:58 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
Something must be wrong with me, I am a BS and I don't find it interesting or funny. It's an over-generalization that puts everything wrong with the marriage on the WS.
This is probably written in response to having the whole A blamed on the BW. I know that I got blamed for everything, still do almost 4 yrs later. I still remember in our 3 weeks of false R when my ex blamed EVERYTHING on me. I had told him that if he broke contact/walked out, I was going to start telling family, including his (they had been calling daily about planning for his Bday). He said if I called his parents, he'd call my dad and say that "I had been mean to him for years". Yes mean. And he couldn't tell me one example. So I dared him to call my dad and tell them that he'd been fucking a bar slut, using marital money, and planning on moving out because I had been mean to him. 
Me - 52 D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later, Divorced 11/15/11!!!!
dindy ( member #38424) posted at 1:12 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
Fab and so true.
Wish I could send this to ex but he's that self-absorbed he wouldn't get it!
jstbreathe ( member #40829) posted at 1:28 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.
Stephen King
Me: BW
Him: WH
Married: 20 years
2 sons, 13 & 17
Raising my sons
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 1:51 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
(((Kierst)))
Cheating is all on the WS. I dont care if the BS Sat on the couch 24/7 eating oreos and nothing else for ever! Stepping outside of the marriage for emotional and or physical intimacy/relationship is 100% on the wayward.
You work on a marriage that us in trouble. As stated above if you would take the time and effort you spent on thinking and being with the AP and put that into your marriage your rewards would be unlimited.
I am sorry someone has made you feel that a waywards actions are your fault.
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
outtanowhere ( member #39001) posted at 3:30 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2013
Gemini, I had the same thought as I was reading this masterpiece! I want to save it in my documents then cut and paste it to all those sickening ads on Craigslist and Backpage. Wonder what would happen if we all did that?
Me-clueless BS Dday - 2/19/13 "This isn’t flying. It’s falling with style".Buzz Lightyear - Toy Story
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