beyondbelief13,
I read your profile. You have been through more than most people go through in their entire life. I am so glad he wasn't able to move in with OW. And HURRAY for your DS who kicked out his wayward father.
Have you told ALL the leadership at WH's church? He shouldn't be officiating anything. He shouldn't be leading anyone. He needs to become a follower, a learner, and relearn God's word from the ground up.
I can relate to you in that my H got involved with the married daughter of his pastor (H was living in a different town because of work) and he wanted to D me to M her. He actually thought a couple of Bible verses supported his new decision. It is especially mind blowing when a person who previously loved God, begins to justify adultery, and blame the faithful spouse. The fact that both people claimed to love God, and in our case the OW was a leader in their congregation, shows just how successfully people are able to compartmentalize.
Like the others have said, play hard ball with your H. You need to think outside of the box in order to overcome the sh*t sandwich you have been dealt. Do you have family nearby, or can you move closer to family who can help you? Your H needs to be cut loose, so he can sink or swim with his own choices. Then, and only then, he might wake up. But in his case, he is a serial cheater and will probably continue to be.
There is an old saying her on SI, "The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior."
Resources for R:
His Needs Her Needs, by Dr. Willard Harley
Love Busters, by Dr. Willard Harley
(for husbands) Becoming the Ultimate Husband, by Reb Bradley
