SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Nobody does that!

Nobody takes pictures of themselves for no reason. It's either for a Craigslist add or for another woman; gross, disgusting, foul and sad...but true.

My WH did this.

Still makes me feel like this

And, I will never understand it, never.

So sorry you're going through this, I hate that people feel the way I do

(((hugs)))

I need someone smack with with a good dose of truth. All this is just too much for me, the pill, the condoms, now the photos in the deleted bin. I keep revisiting a document I have saved in an old email back from when the calls/texts were happening in 2010. Below is a sample of the communication between one escort. Why is it I still believe him when he said he never met one?! This just doesn't add up!!!!!

Note we were married April 17. These are all to one particular escort.

Calls:

April 23 (3 times)

April 25- 2 minutes

April 26- 6 times (one was for 3 min)

May 3- (4 minutes)

May 7

May 10 (4 minutes)

May 11 (2 minutes)

May 13

May 14

June 4- twice

June 5

June 6

June 9

June 10- (3 times) 2minutes

June 14

June 27

August 3- 2 minutes

Aug 11 (twice)

Texts:

April 23

May 3

May 9 (4 texts)

May 10 (7 texts)

May 13 (5 texts)

May 25- 6 texts

June 5

June 10

June 17

Aug 3 (1 being a multimedia message) 8 texts

Aug 10 (first was an outgoing text message) 27 texts

Here goes:

I don't think hookers spend time texting and calling to this degree unless they have a customer.

[This message edited by Markone at 3:00 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)]

I don't think hookers spend time texting and calling to this degree unless they have a customer.

My thoughts as well Like would they really waste that much time on calls and texts if he isn't giving them $$? They wouldn't waste that much time w/ someone on the off chance they may finalllly come around and pay, right?

No, I would imagine not. I'm sure they get crank

callers all the time and so would be pretty dismissive

of time wasters. Just my guess but they are doing

it for money not fun.

I'm sorry. He will bullshit you left right and center

Keep trusting your gut even when your heart doesn't

want to believe it.

...and as evidenced by the stories on this board,

she would have plenty of willing customers so wouldn't

need to court him to be one. My guess is he was

trying to make arrangements. He may well have been

unsuccessful but it looks like to me his intent was there.

as someone posted to me on other board, escorts most likely do keep records of phone numbers, I would assume if she determined he wasn't going to be a customer they wouldn't just stop responding. They are going to sex talk to him for free, right? Especially the string of texts that was 27 or something. Grrrrr wtf!!!!

Its so hard to go from "no, not my husband...he wouldn't" to "yes my husband met an escort".

Oh boy is it ever hard to finally see them as they are.

Admitting this stuff to yourself as the new reality of your life is incredibly difficult and painful.

Sadly, Jzkc, this is the reality. Markone is telling it like it is.

I don't think that asking questions is helping your WH tell the truth, maybe statements would.

Eg: "I know you have ... and therefore I am ..."

Or just crickets and hefty bags or papers...

Now is the time to gather your strength, hugs to you while you make your decisions

(((((Jzkc))))))

So I confronted him about the photos....he said it was something he was going to send to me but didn't.

He sobbed and cried really bad.

I HATE HATE HATE this!!!! I don't want to be with him anymore but when he reacts so sadly it guilts me into staying. How do you leave someone that is so outwardly sad by the talk of divorce. I'm so incapable of hurting someone like that, I'm such a mess.

You know what is going on. You know he is lying. You hope he isn't, but you know.

You'll end it when you are ready to be done with all this. His lying and crying and guilt tripping won't matter when you are ready.

You get to choose how much crap you'll put up with. It will be enough when its enough for you. Until then, keep reading here and asking questions.

((hugs))

He's a cheater & a liar.

Lots of us here, including me, had our spouses swear on the Bible, swear on our children's lives, swear on their mother's grave, that nothing had happened. We have witnessed Academy Award winning sob fests filled with tears, snot and dramatic near-fainting spells as our cheating spouses protested their innocence.

It is difficult to accept that someone would lie right to our faces like that. It's even harder, years later, to accept that we stood there & pretended to believe the lies we knew we were being fed. I guarantee you it takes quite a few sessions with your IC to clear yourself of the painful self-recrimination you'll feel when you finally face that you were complicit in your own deception, that you willingly went along with the rug-sweeping and lies.

But it's what we do. We WANT to believe our spouse. We don't want the truth to be real. We don't want the life that we know is coming for us, so we keep pretending for as long as we can that the life we thought we had is still real.

Even though it's not.

Even though often it never was.

It's very frightening to realize that you're living a lie.

(((HUGS)))

What Nature Girl said. It's awful, but heed her

words. 3 years on- that complicity still nags at me.

Sobs, words = 0. Actions are what count.

I