I'm 31, I was 30 when I started false R with my STBXH.
We also did not have children. I'm hoping to in the future.
My STBXH was similar. He'd be sweet and promise the world, but he would "forget" to tell me something he said he'd tell me about, he'd do x and y, but then he'd go to the bar and get a ride home w a female friend. I don't think anything happened because she has boundaries, but he knew I wasn't comfortable with him getting rides with women in general, let alone at 2 am. We talked about it multiple times.
Then "he couldn't have any fun" because I was mad at him, and "do I want him to get another DUI?" because not going out wasn't an option because that's what he liked to do, and he could because it was winter and he doesn't work in winter.
And I accepted that, even though I wasn't comfortable.
It was not terrible, but it wasn't really R either, because he didn't want it.
I was so uneasy and constantly asking why he wasn't trying, and I think it's because I knew he didn't want to/didn't think he needed to because before I didn't value myself enough to put a stop to that same type of behavior.
The same type of behavior that I think lead to his A, I might add.
Then it came out that he didn't really want to R, and was pretending and couldn't pretend any more.
Please, for you, start believing in yourself and start the 180 to gain perspective and strength. I know it's hard, I've started and failed so many times, but I think it will help you. For you, not for him.