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He only poked it at me once

Once is too many times.

Is that your justification? Im sorry that is just stupid. get the hell away from him.

My BS thinks I was to harsh. Truth is I don't. Dont keep giving him the opportunity to hurt you. Or your children. What he does to you affects them. This man needs help. And "pride" is a reason not to get it? Please take my harshness as just very loud advice.

He "only" poked a GUN at you.... cause poking is so much better than pointing?

I don't think you understand that you are minimizing a potentially dangerous situation.

There are some things you just don't do to fellow human beings. You don't pull a weapon on them. (Unless of course your life is in danger and its self defense)

Poking, pointing, waving in the air....it doesn't matter. Your HUSBAND pulled a gun on you.

I don't care how angry/hurt/whatever he got, if QS ever pulled a weapon on me? Bye. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Poking, pointing, waving in the air....it doesn't matter. Your HUSBAND pulled a gun on you.

This is criminal! If he is still lashing out and this angry after 4 months, he might be in a downward spiral. You need to get away for your and the kids safety. Then once you are separated and he has the chance to calm down then you can start discussing reconciliation and workign things out TOGETHER.

And if he is not telling you where he is or how long he will be gone then I would question just how much he cares for his children that he would leave them hanging like that. Not answering calls or texts. I don't think the courts would look too kindly on a parent who disappears for stretches at a time with no connection if something happens to the kids.

It has been very close to DDay, these things take time. However you need to set boundaries as well. You did do wrong. But his rage and out burst should not be tolerated. I am no expert. But set boundaries, in a calm rational voice tell him, you understand he was angry and was not thinking clearly, but, if he attempts to do it again, then you will (insert your plan of action) above all, do what you say you will do.

He does not want to be around you. If you smother him he wil lash out. Give him space. If he leaves ask him once where he is going, if he does not respond or comes back with a smart assed answer. So be it. You have to be strong for you and your children. You have to work on yourself. You can only control what you do. Your actions determine your out come.

If he does not want to seek counseling fine, you go, if he wants his marriage to work out he will eventually see it will help him heal too.

I would like to also add to my post (haven't figured that out) go stay with family until he has time to get over POKING A GUN AT YOU!!!!! Also, tell him that you will return when he learns how to speak and act when you and your children are around. I am certainly not condoning what you have done, but you are an adult and a woman. You should be treated like one.

Thank you everyone It feels good to have a lot of you guys very much concerned about my predicament.

I am sorting out my priorities at the same time keeping my rythm in balance. I am trying hard, very hard to NOT give up... for my kids. I gain strength from all your wisdom and encouragements. And yes, I am working out on myself too.

I still have a lot of "revealing" to do to all of you (about my BH) but one at a time ...

I do feel very abused right now, mentally, emotionally, verbally.. but I am taking it all, trying to be as strong as possible. The Lord help me, I do not want to continue living my life this way. I am losing my dignity. I try hard to stand with chin up... but that is not very easy He is crushing my being, my selfworth is slowly diminishing