This Topic is Archived
ruinedandbroken (original poster member #29250) posted at 3:49 PM on Sunday, January 12th, 2014
Lol Sean....
When I say he takes them two nights a month I mean overnights. Decree says he has Wednesday nights and he does take them Wednesday nights, but he brings them home instead of keep them overnight like he is supposed to. This is the same for Sunday. He has them all day, but he brings them home instead of keep them. The only night he doesn't take them at all is EO Friday night. The referral you gave me only has extended hours on Mondays and Tuesdays. I can't force ex to take the kids these days as they are not in the decree at all for him. Those are legally my days. So therefore, if I asked him to, I *would* feel indebted to him because it would be a favor to me. However, if they were his days and he wasn't taking them, hell yeah I would force him!
But I appreciate your anger at him being a douche! Lol 
“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21
shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 7:21 PM on Sunday, January 12th, 2014
For me I have a love for horses so I am now volunteering at a riding center for handicapped children where I am met with a smile and a whinny
.
Wow, that is so cool JerseyCowgirl. I did this too (volunteered as a sidewalker) before I got married back in 1985. I plan on getting certified to work with these handicapped kids (I am a Physical Therapy Assistant) in the near future. There is a college in New Jersey, Centenary College that has a program for Therapeutic riding/instruction. 
But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17
SeanFLA ( member #32380) posted at 9:01 PM on Sunday, January 12th, 2014
Well you can always email him and tell him your company has asked you to take on a project that will require you to go in late on Tuesdays and arrive home late Tuesday nights. If he inquires tell him its because you need to be there on West Coast time as the office out there is running it. Is it possible to switch Tuesdays and Wedensdays with you for a bit until I see where this goes? Maybe a few months. Its important and could enable me to advance myself.
Fuck him and I would care less about lying to him. After all, look at the lifetime of lies he fed you. This way you could get Tuesdays nights free for a bit to see if this IC works for you and not lose any additional time with the kids. He doesn't need to know where you are. Frankly it's none of his business. I would have NO ISSUE telling my exWW this if I thought it would help me that much on a personal level to heal. Sometimes you just need to turn the tables on these waywards and become a bit of the douche yourself, if you know what I mean.
[This message edited by SeanFLA at 3:02 PM, January 12th (Sunday)]
BS(me) 53
WW 52
1 son 20 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley
gardens64 ( member #38449) posted at 5:24 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2014
I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I am earlier in the process but feel similar. I appreciate too some of the suggestions people have made.
One thing I noticed is your children must have been pretty young during DDay and you don't have childcare relief during evenings, and are working too? That is a huge stressor and responsibility, and it takes so much energy to keep that going. It may be easier when your kids are older. Healing time is not the same for everyone. It really hasn't been that long.
Hugs to you. If you are interested in cognitive behavioral therapy there is a book called "Feeling Good" by Dr. Burns that you can work on yourself as well.
This Topic is Archived
