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Reconciliation :
Social media-OW sending messages

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Chefj9 ( member #38604) posted at 7:00 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I have the exact same scenario going on here with OW. She post and "likes" every meme that has anything to do with "missing someone", "true love waits" and crap like that. Her account is private, but you can still see these because the originating "wall" is not private.

She now has a BF that lives in another city, and he purposely makes things public that are specific to their relationship. Every time they travel to see each other, what they did for the holidays together etc. Everything else on his wall is for "friends only".

When I figured out how to see these post, I also checked to see what she could see on our accounts. (blocking is a joke, all someone has to do is create a dummy account to get around it). I was able to see that she could still get to WHs account and see anything that he "liked" or "commented" on that came from a "public wall".

He immediately deactivated his account and created a new one. The new one has a fake name on it. He sent a friend request along with a message explaining to people that he had to shut his other account down because of a stalking issue (no details provided and no one has asked). He only friended people that are mutual friends, so he didn't have to give up social media completely.

Immediately after that he had "anonymous" viewers on his LinkedIn account. He just flat out deleted that account completely and has not created a new one. He never really needed or used LinkedIn. After he did that, I started having anonymous views on my account A few days later, I received a request to "link" with someone that used to work on a project with my WH, but I don't know this person and have never met them. I accepted the request and emailed him asking how I knew him and if he knew my husband. I already knew the answer, since WH recognized him immediately. I never received a reply, so I terminated the link. But before I did that, I checked his list of "links" and sure enough, there was OW on his list. They work for competing companies in different cities so there is a remote chance that they might know each other, but very slim. She is going off the rails if she's actively seeking out people from his previous projects to get info on him....

Basically, he's undetectable in Social Media and for the most part on the internet. And quite frankly, I'm getting a little giggle out of knowing that she's probably freaking out that she can't see whats going on with him or us

.

Anyway..I digress

If SM is important to your WS, then maybe creating a new account with a new name and making sure that every single thing is private. Also make sure that everything on yours is private as well.

ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 26,16, 15 and 13
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

posts: 476   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Texas
id 6642565
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Mama58 ( member #41685) posted at 7:46 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I recommend going to ----- and reading today's post.

Please don't post links to other sites. Thank you

[This message edited by SI Staff at 3:18 PM, January 18th (Saturday)]

posts: 61   ·   registered: Dec. 16th, 2013   ·   location: Ohio
id 6642641
smile1

BrooklynLove ( member #41800) posted at 7:47 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

My OW would not leave my husband alone because she needed money and a green card. So I had to fight her psychopathic behavior with psychopathic behavior of my own. A week after DDay she was calling none stop and texting things to get him back. I had his phone and passwords. My husband didn't know anything about blocking. So I made a dummy account with her pictures and blocked her. I then sent friend request to all her friends and family. I sent my husband a couple of love message so see if he would reply (he didn't). I blocked her real account on my husbands page and deactivated my account. Once I got her friends and family to accept my friend request after a couple of days the war began. All her naked pictures were posted one her wall. Videos of her masturbating with her commenting "I've been such a whore" were posted. Her family members and friends started to message "what the hell is this OW?" I posted all of her dirty text and after a week I deactivated the account. Her friends were asking for mercy for her. Keep in mind she is in a third world foreign country so she couldn't do anything about what I was doing. If your OW is in the US, UK or Canada please do not do what I did cause you can end up in jail.

Will never be naive again...

BW - Me (29)
WH - Him my JH sweetheart (34)
Married - 8 years
2 babies - DD (4) and DD (1)
OW#1 - PA with classmate for 2 months
OW#2 - Some slut living oversees that needs a green card. EA & PA going on for ye

posts: 111   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6642642
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foolishlycluless ( member #41404) posted at 7:55 PM on Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Yes, she can access his page even if blocked. But if you have the correct privacy settings...she will see nothing that he posts. She will not see any pictures. Stay on top of it..it can be done.

^^^^^^^^^This. Make sure that his account is locked down so that ONLY his friends can see anything - posts, pictures, ANYTHING. Make sure that it is not set to "friends of friends." If you have mutual friends, that's one way that they will see this stuff.

Me: BW; married 36 years; now happily divorced.
XWH: Not a bad person; just made bad choices. Now living with OW.

posts: 141   ·   registered: Nov. 20th, 2013   ·   location: Coastal Carolina
id 6642659
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Chefj9 ( member #38604) posted at 2:28 PM on Friday, January 17th, 2014

something that a lot of people don't also realize is that any time you "like" or "comment" on something that isn't private, it can be seen. Even if all of your settings are set to friends only. If the originating picture or post is "public" so is your interaction with it. Kinda scary when you think about it.

ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 26,16, 15 and 13
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

posts: 476   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Texas
id 6643758
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