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self-rescuer ( member #35059) posted at 11:06 PM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
of course I HATE that this has made me "that person" who checks up on his stuff. I really don't want to have to do this!
Sweetie, here's the thing. We snoop because we happen upon something randomly OR our gut is screaming.
Either way, if something suspicious is found we are entitled (yes, I'm using the word ENTITLED) to keep looking. Cheaters can cover their tracks in every conceivable fashion and unfortunately, if we feel there is more, there usually is.
Never apologize for snooping. You two are getting married. Nothing should be off limits to you.
How are you tending to the the emerging story of your life?
~ Carol Hegedus
Getthruit (original poster new member #42570) posted at 1:39 AM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
Ok, asked him about the email. Asked him if he had deleted "the email". He said yes. I asked if he would show me. He said yes, but that we had to look on his computer because he had deleted the account off his phone because he never used it (which is true... He had very little activity). Which is why I was able to find the offending email so easily,
We went in the office and he logged in with me standing right there over his shoulder. Password in full view and in box in full view. He basically deleted everything that he had sent from that email (the one I found was the only questionable one).
We're on the same phone plan so I have access to all calls and texts. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Don't have access to finances but will in time.
Ok, so I feel weird but ok.... Not completely with him but not out either. Going to be a matter of vigilance now. Wish me luck... Keep you posted.
Me-BS-45
Him-WH-48
DDay-2/15/14-found email requesting a girlfriend experience from a luxury escort from back in November, 2012 when we were first dating.
NeverAgain2013 ( member #38121) posted at 3:34 PM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
Several people have mentioned a polygraph test because as the others have said, the Oscar-worthy performances these liars put on are nothing short of miraculous.
I think he'd fail a polygraph.
Someone up there gave you the gift of SIGHT before you marry this man. Don't ignore the red flags waving.
I did. I shouldn't have.
Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 3:49 PM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
Two things:
First thing that really bothers me is the timing of when he made that appointment. As you said, you guys were in a very emotional time (good way)in your relationship. That is the last thing that should of been on his mind. It is different if you had a huge fight and he did it out of spite/anger.....but to be at a blissful time.....that worries me. Whether he went or not, it not prove'able. But he had the intentions because he took the steps and set it up.
Secondly, is the advice you have recieved to proceed very cautiously. When I was dating my Ex. This "package" showed up in the mail. It was pictures and a response type letter from some international dating thing (or buy-a-bride set up). I was all over him about it. He said he did that before we even got together and she was just a late replier.
I believed it. Wanted to believe it. Could make it make sense in my head. We can justify away anything when our heart wants too.
Just please be careful - there are many of us on here that wished we would of trusted the symptoms enough early on when they were there.
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