SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Anger. He had found out days before me.

Not the fact that he didn't tell me, but about the fact that he had told fWH to tell him everything or he would tell me. OBS also has played me a couple times in the first 6 months to get back at wFH. I had considered us friends, but he had been using me as a pawn also...

I feel for him. We were couples' friends, albeit not super close as we had only known each other for a few months.

I waited to tell him, I thought it was the best thing I could do at the time because they had moved to a different country and I truly thought it was over. It wasn't, and I told him 3 months later when I had the evidence it was back on again. He wasn't angry at me, he said he understood. When we compared notes, we were both so sad that we had pieces that together would have exposed the affair much sooner. But we were both so in denial. So in denial.

We talked/messaged occasionally after that. I texted him a few weeks ago to ask him how he's holding up, I'm genuinely concerned about him. He hasn't responded. His wife may have prohibited him from talking to me. His wife had at least one more affair that I know of, probably more. She is a sociopath to the core, I feel for him.

I thank god for her, and I empathize with her, and she with me. She and her girlfriend (the OW) were new mutual friends of my husband and I.

She discovered the affair...and outed them right away. I had found texting on the phone bill, and H talked me out of my suspicions. I found further evidence of contact on his phone, and again he talked me out of it. I wish I had the guts that the OBS did!

We met DDay to pool our "info" and make sure we both got the WHOLE story. We kept in contact for awhile. First because we agreed we would share any info/suspicions/etc, and also because it was nice to talk to someone who new EXACTLY how you felt.

I am feeling tremendous guilt right. I found out this week that her girlfriend has had at least one other affair during their relationship. I know she has no idea. I want to tell her, but I found out in a very bizarre manner from our pastor, and while I don't know any details about her other AP, I don't know if confidentiality is expected from the pastor or not (I emailed him) and if he says he expects me to keep it to myself I'm going to feel horrible. We both agreed that we would not put up with even one more thing...nothing...and I will feel like such a betrayer knowing this and not telling her.