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rekindle ( member #42184) posted at 1:59 AM on Friday, February 28th, 2014
WW perspective here. Unfortunately, I am guilty of the multiple swearing on things that were important to me. My deceased mother, the Bible, my own life, etc. I swore on the kids when I really was coming clean, but I wasn't as sure as I should have been so those things ended up being untrue. Bottom line is, I was in self-preservation mode and looking to say or do anything to prove my lies as believable as possible to continue rugsweeping. I consider myself a good, caring person with decent values and it was like the swearing became automatic to me. I felt horrible each time I did it, but also convinced myself it was necessary to save the marriage. Now I can't swear on a damn thing without BH blowing it off as another lie, understandably. I don't imagine that swearing phrase ever becomes acceptable again for us waywards who abused it so much. :(
Me, WW
Him, BH
2 DDs
Together 9 yrs, married 4
Flirting/Boundary Breaking/Cheating for 8 years, OEA Fall 09-Feb 10 with flirty friend from 2007/2008, lied and rugswept until TT 12/13-02/14.
LifeIsBroken ( member #27071) posted at 2:10 AM on Friday, February 28th, 2014
Multiple times, xh swore on our daughters' lives, his father's grave, swore to God he was being truthful. Of course, he was not. Cheaters lie and lie and lie and lie…. to the point where even they probably don't know the truth any longer. I believe my dh's lies became so easy to tell, he began believing them himself. Sad. Sick.
D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)
bent44 ( member #31386) posted at 4:36 AM on Friday, February 28th, 2014
Words....I think that they use this because they know that it does and would mean something to us. They use that against us, because it doesn't mean squat to them...
Yes, this!
XWS did this too.
I really can't believe the depths he went to. Broken, just deeply broken. That is about the nicest way I can put it.
"If you marry a chicken, don't expect an eagle."
I don't know if my chicken will ever become an eagle. But rest assured, I'm going to be a phoenix. Nevermind that I am still in the ashes stage of the process.
Update...he
brokendancer7 ( member #39911) posted at 6:28 AM on Friday, February 28th, 2014
Yep, my H swore on his mother's grave, while looking me in the eye, that he wasn't having another A. And he doesn't seem to understand why I laugh any time he has said it since.
omgnome ( member #36888) posted at 3:43 PM on Friday, February 28th, 2014
My WW swore on her son's life that she was not carrying on any sort of inappropriate contact with anybody. This was the day after I had discovered emails between them and before I had confronted her. She swore multiple times that day.
Many that is one of worst feelings I have ever had. It gets very difficult to rebuild trust after having it broken like that.
ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 3:59 PM on Friday, February 28th, 2014
Add my piece of shit WH to the list of waywards who swore on our kids' lives. I think lightening is supposed to strike him for that, but I'm still waiting. (foot tapping impatiently)
joannie ( member #42486) posted at 4:15 PM on Friday, February 28th, 2014
mine swore to others it was over on the lives of our grandchildren...than carried on...again for 4 times we "got back together " until i heard him tell her..they know how we would not say these words if we did not mean it...........
me BS 57
Him WS 56
Married 37 years 2 sons 5 grandchildren
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