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MelisssaZZZ (original poster member #25953) posted at 11:03 AM on Sunday, March 9th, 2014
Update
Hmmm and I was so hopeful it was moving in right direction - what a mistake!
So after the last hopeful date, we talked about when to meet next etc. so he is busy and won't be able to see me next week, maybe week after.
So I got upset / annoyed etc and said that it seems we are not on the same page, that I am looking for a guy who wants relationship and he does not seem to be that guy. That I will continue looking for that guy who wants relationship and wished him luck in his search.
He wished me luck in my search and that was it!
Me BS - 40
WH 42
1 child - 9y
married 5 yrs, together 7
DD1 midmarch 09
DD2 early june 09
some more DD's of course - cannot bother to list
Status: Divorced Oct 2011
Him: not with OW anymore. She grew up and ditched him..
fireproof ( member #36126) posted at 12:28 PM on Sunday, March 9th, 2014
I am sorry it didn't work out but I will offer since I have heard this repeatedly from people - you define what you need.
For example if he wasn't meeting your needs than that is ok but truly if he had plans then that isn't about you. If it is about want to spend more time with him then it is nice to simply say you were hoping you could spend more time together and see what he says.
I don't know if this makes sense but to put this to the level of having a relationship puts pressure on you both after just a few dates. Give it time. But if you know after dating what you want then I think you did the right thing for you.
Good luck and you might have dodged a bullet if he is only separated.
MelisssaZZZ (original poster member #25953) posted at 1:16 PM on Sunday, March 9th, 2014
Yes, I was very childish in approaching this, but really, we had been 'dating' for around 2 months.. And going backwards. It's not like he could not meet me because he was traveling etc, just busy. I mean it's fine, but I have my needs etc and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect things moving somewhere after like 8 (or so) dates...
And hmm, I also work full time + have my dd full time, + do real estate projects (which take time like 2nd job). And I have time for him.. And have been immensely flexible accommodating few last minute changes etc.
Me BS - 40
WH 42
1 child - 9y
married 5 yrs, together 7
DD1 midmarch 09
DD2 early june 09
some more DD's of course - cannot bother to list
Status: Divorced Oct 2011
Him: not with OW anymore. She grew up and ditched him..
PhoenixRisen ( member #35912) posted at 3:40 PM on Sunday, March 9th, 2014
MelissaZZZ, I went out with the exact opposite of your guy but had the exact same "off" vibe and ended the same
In my situation, he was all about Roman hands and Russian fingers (love that phrase) BUT we never actually had a dinner date or talk meaningfully (only grab a beer on weekdays). So physically he was all in, but emotionally and spending time together: he was not there. After date #4 I wasn't ready to go further physically ...I never heard from him again.
So I'm guessing he didn't want a relationship either, just a bed-buddy.
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