Appearance over substance.
Talking the talk, not walking the walk.
Seeing good as evil, and evil as good.
___
Yep.
That's my ex, too.
Used to drive me insane.
Literally insane.
He'd give me a black eye, and would have a group of people petting him, and telling him it was alright, and he's a good man, and don't beat yourself up... And I'm standing there bleeding, being handed someone else's kid to look after while they make sure that Jerkface is okay.
Right.
Because my EYE is so much harder than his FIST
(And then the next day would roll around, and those same people would be floored at my black eye... And just thunderstruck / "what happened".
Ummmmm... You know last night, as my ex was sobbing into all of your guys arms? THATS what he was crying about. Punching me in the face. (And then they'd argue, NOoooooop... That's not what happened. That couldn't be what happened. He called us, said that he was a terrible person and didn't know if he could go on, and felt like dying, and blah blah blah blah blah... Not that he HIT you. What did you do??? I mean, he's not that kind of guy. / What, the kind of guy to punch his wife and then get everyone to make him feel good about it? No, of course not.
)
Amazingly, I no longer care, more than once in a blue moon.
The greatest gift of divorce = no longer HAVING to care.
But it took a long time.
YEARS of work, that he'd take credit for.
YEARS of work, that he'd just dismiss if he couldn't claim credit
YEARS of work, that he'd try to make seem evil if I did get credit.
It takes awhile to move out of that sick-sick-sick roller coaster.
It feels like losing 100 pounds.
And color returns to the world.
And a chorus of angels singing.
LOL... But you'll get sucked back into hypocrisy land, and get the joy of re-emerging more than once. So, don't worry!
It feels good enough to be normal/sane that it's almost worth getting caught up in their twisted world view, just to escape again!!! Ahhhhh... Can hear that hallelujah chorus, now!
Chesh
[This message edited by CheshCat at 11:21 PM, March 29th (Saturday)]