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When he had control over the kids via money he always forced them to acknowledge OW's bday and even attend parties at their house.

Yes, he did. He used to text them and say "Tomorrow is OW's birthday and it would be nice if you sent her a text or a birthday card." They never did. They had a housewarming party for his house with OW and he threw a 50th birthday party for himself and got mad and said "I want to feel special, you're supposed to make me feel special!" when my daughter said she was working that day.

And about my birthday and Christmas, well of course they know, they lived with me for their entire life. Very condescending of him.

Please ignore this completely - dude needs a checkup from the neck up.

You can't take someone to court because your ADULT child doesn't want anything to do with you.

They are 27 and 25 - not 7 and 5. I think maybe he has lost 20 years out of his memory or something. This shit is just bizarre!!

I wonder why you are reacting to this too. Why are you so worried? Even if you had been slating him for the last 9 years what do you think will come out of it? Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Why aren't you blocking his number? There is no need for him to contact you. You don't need to justify anything to him or even listen to his opinions about you. IT HAS BEEN 9 YEARS, FFS.

SBB, he has never called me or contacted me directly before this. The fact that he had to ask my son for my email address means he didn't have it or forgot it. He is a coward. I did have to see him in court last November for some back alimony that he was trying to hide and the judge ordered him to pay it to me in a lump sum. He was very angry because I caught it. But he sat on the other side of the courtroom and never approached me, but came up to my 80 year-old mother when I was out of the room and yelled at her "Your daughter is trying to take a lot of money from me." She said to him "You're a bad role model for my grandchildren." I was not even in the room when this happened so maybe it's an overflow of that. I don't know. I haven't spoken to him since 2005.

...my 80 year-old mother...said to him "You're a bad role model for my grandchildren."

Love her! That's awesome.

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 6:35 PM, May 2nd (Friday)]

Crickets to this guy.

What a jerk!!

I wonder what he would do if he knew the kids call OW "Voldemort" when speaking of her in my presence and not by her name. They can't even say her first name.

My clueless sister says "Well, you do have tennis pics all over your FB page..." Sorry, is that a crime? And I'm not friends with anyone from his family.

[This message edited by miadianna at 6:55 PM, May 2nd (Friday)]

Mia, are your tennis pics public? Why not go ahead and lock those down to friends only? There's an easy way to go back and bring your whole profile to Friends Only. I'll type out instructions when I'm at my computer, if you'd like.

This guy doesn't deserve any kind of window into your life.

Thanks Amazonia. The tennis pics that are public are only those of my favorite tennis player. They are not of me, but he might have seen my profile pic which was public and it's a pic of me on a bicycle during the time I was at a tournament. I don't know how he found out I went to a tennis tournament with my daughter unless he was actively searching for it. He claimed not to have a FB.

I don't know? Maybe he's right and you should be canning fruits and veggies in the basement or collecting stray cats.

Email him for what direction you should be taking right now!

He can file whatever he pleases, but that doesn't mean that it has merit. It also doesn't mean he will get an attorney to take the case.

If he does, I would hire an attorney and have them file a motion for summary judgment as well as petition for fees and even sanctions for this being a "frivolous" lawsuit. I could see you getting everything to turn your way in this.

As the petitioner, it is up to him to prove his case. He can't. Hence you could go in for summary judgment and ask for your attorney fees and possibly sanctions as well.

Crickets is the only appropriate response at this point. Let him blow. He is unlikely to file, and if he does, please invite me to come and watch.

Cat

It's not real; it's the ravings of an unhinged NPD.

This is my view, too. I can't believe the part where he was mad because you did not follow the career he chose for you?! Did I read that right???

There is not a damn thing he can sue for. He is just throwing a tantrum. Ignore.

I did wonder, though...do you think he discovered your SI posts? Could that be what he is referring to as "social media"?

ETA: by the way, your mother and your daughter are AWESOME!

[This message edited by Lyonesse at 7:59 PM, May 2nd (Friday)]

Random, the best thing is OW is a bartender he met on the road traveling for work in another state. The country western bar is attached to the hotel he was staying at for a year, he only came home on the weekends. Eventually stopped coming home on weekends.

So maybe I should be a bartender who picks up married men on business trips and sleeps with them? He seems okay with that.

There was a woman here years ago whose STBX found her SI profile and printed off hundreds of pages of her posts and took them to court. They were promptly thrown out by a judge with the admonition that if he hadn't done what he did, she wouldn't need to seek advice and comfort from an ANONYMOUS support board.

I wouldn't worry about SI in the least.

Cat

If it were me I would consider either 1) ignore his stupid ranting or 2) respond with: my attorney finds your email's to me fascinating!

I agree with Cat - if it is SI posts, it still won't make any difference. He still has no case except in his disordered mind. I just like to think of some of these chickenshits getting to hear what real people actually think of their shenanigans.

I've thought about him discovering SI. My name on here is similar but it doesn't come up if you search my real name. But if he did discover my posts, he would know I have a ton of evidence going back to 1994 when it all started and I would think if he knew that he would back off. I've never used his name on here or my name. I could be anybody.

I'm thinking when he said I am spreading lies to people who don't know "you, me, or what happened" he might be referring to the attorneys and judge. During the divorce I subpoenaed all of his financial statements and he had to highlight each check, receipt, gift, vehicle, or any marital money that went to the OW and write her name on it. He said that was "humiliating."

He said that was "humiliating."

Yeah, that does sound cruel and abusive...particularly to a rainbow-colored unicorn who expected the consequences of infidelity to be treats.

Sorry, I know this whole situation is upsetting for you, but he is just so...ridiculous. I'm torn between wanting him to stop so you and your daughter can have some peace and wanting him to go on because his idiocy is so entertaining. I think I will sue your husband because he is creating this terrible moral dilemma for me and I find it humiliating. Most people only know my public persona as a nice person. He is very, very wrong for bringing out the bitch in me and I will sue him for his very shoelaces.

Eta: I mean EX-Husband. Ex. Ex. Ex!

[This message edited by Lyonesse at 8:33 PM, May 2nd (Friday)]

...particularly to a rainbow-colored unicorn who expected the consequences of infidelity to be treats.

Someone once sent me a picture of them drunk in a bar wearing toilet paper bandanas around their head. I have no idea where it was but I never told him I saw it.

[This message edited by miadianna at 3:09 AM, May 3rd (Saturday)]

What a loser. Don't lose any sleep over that douchebag an his delusional nonsense.

I'll hold your ear rings for this one.