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Alex CR ( member #27968) posted at 12:58 AM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
Almost five years out and I am just beginning to think my husband is a 'good guy' again, but also recognize he is human and can screw up.
I also remember after Dday when people would tell us how they wanted a marriage like ours or someone would tell me how great H was, he would later, when by ourselves, tell me he felt like a fake...that if they only knew what he had done....what we were trying to fight our way through they wouldn't think so well of him. I used to also feel like a fake when people told me how wonderful our marriage was....
But over time and with all the work H has done, I realize we're both good people....he screwed up, badly, but we do have a good marriage, one we've fought for together.
I did not think like this at one, three or even four years out...but now as we approach the five year point, my perspective isn't colored so much by pain and anger and I find myself thinking well of my husband again......in my eyes he'll never be perfect again, but the reality is he never was perfect...it was only in my mind.
BS Me 63
WS Him 64
Married 35
Together 41
DD 11/16/09
I can dwell in the negative or seek the positive...one road is lonely...the other teeming with life.
stunnedmullet (original poster member #42975) posted at 5:07 AM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
Sorry Jo2love - I have edited it now.
Thank you for all your replies. I keep reminding myself that good people can do horrible things, I just wish it hadn't been so so hurtful :(
DD April Fools Day 2014 (unfortunately no joke)
BS (me) 45
WH 43
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years
4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA
married 22 and 7 kids
Attempted reconciliation for 18 months until he walked out without warning
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