SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yeah I would consider that as a pretty firm turn down. I wouldn't pursue any farther.

phone book???? lol.

You have to give guys a bone here.

If you want them to call you, you have to tell them.

And, I just started dating too. I had a short lived 10 day romance. hahaha

But, yes, I met him places. In case I ever wanted to leave and didn't really want him at my place just yet.

Also, I just blocked him from facebook and my phone. So, now, he has absolutely no way to contact me. So, those are the precautions I took. See, you can always block their number. But, your house and work, keep that something for them to work towards if you really like them.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 3:53 PM, May 20th (Tuesday)]

I don't understand your logic. As others have pointed out, if you're already in the phone book why wouldn't you give him your number? And I agree with the others that there's a certain amount of game playing going on here. If you're doing it because you think having him look up your number shows you that he's interested, what did you think him asking you for your number in the first place showed?

Personally, (and gently) if I asked a woman for her number and she told me it was in the book, I would assume she wasn't interested and she was nicely trying to let me know. If she later told me she wanted me to show interest by looking it up, I would assume she was a manipulator.

Thanks for the replies guys.

This is hypothetical. I haven't met anyone where I live that I'm even curious about. I asked the question because one of the books I read about dating used this "if a guy is truly interested and a lady told him her name and said she was in the phone book, he would be more interested because it would fill that "chase" instinct".

And ya'll might laugh at the thought of a phone book, but up here they are still an important part of life.

Interesting comment though about how stressfull it is for a guy to even strike up a conversation with a lady they are interested in. I thought those days were past.

k9

THe books you're reading about dating were written by assholes. We're people, not Greyhounds.

"if a guy is truly interested and a lady told him her name and said she was in the phone book, he would be more interested because it would fill that "chase" instinct"

Oh honey! Blech! Which book is this? Did they also tell you to have dinner and a martini ready for him when he comes home??

^^^

You guys are killing me!! Greyhounds and Martinis!!

That really is a terrible piece of advice. I haven't read any dating books but I suspect a majority of them advise game playing tactics such as this.

IMO it just shouldn't be that hard.

Did they also tell you to have dinner and a martini ready for him when he comes home?

Wow...kinda seems like with me I was the one doing this for her! And honestly, after a while she didn't seem to appreciate it any more than the stereotypical man did after a while. People are people, regardless of gender.

No. Just no.

Throw that book away. If it were up to me, most relationship books, and most therapists, would be marooned on a desert island somewhere. On behalf of men everywhere, I am going to tell you what we want....get ready...this is going to be gold....

If you're interested in me, tell me. The less subtly the better. Cause I'm kinda stupid, and maybe a little insecure.

If you're not interested, tell me. Preferably without making reference to the size of my penis or lack of hair. I'm a big boy, I can take it (so long as you leave my penis and bald head out of it).

If you want me to call, give me your number, tell me you think I seem nice and you would love to hear from me and maybe go out sometime. I guarantee you, I will be thrilled even if I'm not interested. And if I'm not interested, I'll tell you.

But mostly, remember that you're asking this on a forum where most guys have been affected by unfaithful SO's. So what most of us are looking for (I think I speak for every man here) is an open, honest, non-manipulative relationship based on mutual respect, affection and commitment. Trying to get us to "chase" you is the opposite of that. If there's attraction combined with openness and honesty, you won't need to get us to chase you, we will do it all on our own. As for me, I bail at the first sign a woman is trying to get me to do what she wants, as opposed to telling me what she wants.

But mostly, remember that you're asking this on a forum where most guys have been affected by unfaithful SO's. So what most of us are looking for (I think I speak for every man here) is an open, honest, non-manipulative relationship based on mutual respect, affection and commitment.

I think we can remove gender from this and we'll get an AMEN from the womenz on this site too.

(and by the way, I'm one of the awesome therapists that wont get banished to the deserted island, so I take no offense)

I think we can remove gender from this and we'll get an AMEN from the womenz on this site too.

AMENZ!!!!!!!

Sorry Better4me, I'm sure there are good therapists out there, and that you're one. :-) It's just that I haven't met any.

But then again, when the person they're treating is a compulsive liar, what can I expect. Garbage in, garbage out.