SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I didn't want him to feel bad about it, I wanted to feel safe

^^^This is good stuff. I wish I had used that line when my needs were not being met. It takes away the image of the bs shaming the ws and puts the emphasis on feeling safe.

Breezy, your dd is too young to understand why you might want to R. She just doesn't have enough life experience yet. I'm sure it's hard on you to hear her say she thinks you should D. I know many people who resent the parent that was cheated on for not leaving. I believe it has something to do with a daughter identifying with the mother in such a strong way that they imagine themselves in the situation and want us to choose what they think they would want to choose for themselves. I'm sure I'm not explaining it well. A girl I know, who is the same age as my daughter, was trying to explain to me how she's pissed off at her mother for not leaving her father after he cheated. Fortunately she is a psychologist and we were able to walk through the reasons she resents her mom. It has to do with her identity being wrapped up with her mother and how seeing her mother in a weakened condition makes her question her own frailties. It was an interesting discussion and worth thinking about.

What a complete FUCKTARD

My mother did this to me and I will NEVER get over it. Ever.

Yes, going to IC helps but it is always still there.

Hardtimesinlife that is very interesting, something to really think about. Her opinion is softening as her relationship with her dad is healing, but that should be something we talk about. I haven't really talked to her much about why she wanted me to leave WH so bad at the beginning, I just assumed that she was being protective.

Luckily or unluckily depending on how you look at it, DD has been through a lot in her life. She has learned forgiveness the hard way and she is one tough cookie. I am pretty sure that if she can find forgiveness in her heart for the people that tried to murder her brother she will find forgiveness for her father.

This one gets me unlike no other. You can look at this 100 different ways and no matter how you look at trying to figure out what he was thinking at the time to understand what he was doing and why---you can't. This was an assanine act by a dickless monster. For me, an unforgivable one on both my behalf and that of my daughter. He had nothing to gain by doing this. It was pure and 100% evil. And to do it to your own daughter? Some things (like this) come from a place so far from normal that it just can't be understood--it's bizarre, inexplicable, irrational unbalanced evil behavior. And possibly not A related. Sounds like deep seeded roots of a very disturbed man. In 5 minutes he single handedly damaged your daughter. For life. Intentionally. And then he gives you the attitude he did when you ask about it? This man is damaged goods. I'm sorry for you and your daughter and your family. Take good care of both yourselves. You sound like 2 very amazing women.

If this were me, on DD graduation day, I would be serving him with his walking papers.