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dana47 (original poster member #43711) posted at 7:44 PM on Wednesday, June 25th, 2014
Somethingremorse. Thank you for the insightful response. I think the same is true for me and AP.
Mrs Panda ( member #27303) posted at 2:43 AM on Thursday, June 26th, 2014
Dana
OM's words and all evidently swept you away. And I know that you probably still have feelings of "what if" and "but it was special" and "it was so real."
The fact that you are here tells me you are not shallow and you want a better way. Like us.
I think it is easy for selfish, greedy, narcissistic APs to fall in love or in lust or in lurve. Whatevah. The bottom line there is love doesn't mean much when there is no substance behind it.
My question for you and what I think you have to get to the root of is this: why did you, presumably a decent woman of depth of character, fall in love or lust or lurve with such a low class fellow? What is there is your past that makes this type of relationship acceptable and amazing to you?
Me-48 FWW Him 51BH
M 20 years,. Fully Reconciled ❤️.
DDay#1 Nov 2008
DDay#2 Aug 2009 (Prior A from 2001)
"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand." -Kurt Vonnegut
dana47 (original poster member #43711) posted at 3:14 AM on Thursday, June 26th, 2014
Mrs. Panda: thanks for your thoughtful reply. I had a difficult childhood. Never understood what boundaries were. As an adult I've faced hardship. Disease, loss of a loved one at a young age (twice), mental breakdowns, PTSD, infertility. ...
So I guess the simple answer is that I am an emotional avoider (have been since childhood). I suffer from low self esteem. Sometimes I loathe myself.
My AP validated me. I loved the way he made me feel. He told me how smart, beautiful, perfect I was. He told me he was head over heals in love with me. He seems like a normal everyday guy. Goes to church, has a great job, well educated. BUT he is narcissistic and greedy.
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