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Newest Member: mkei

Just Found Out :
Shocked right now. Help

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MindMonkey ( member #41679) posted at 6:27 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

He broke down and told me he feels fat and just wants to be desirable. That he just talked and would never actually fool around. I know those words are straight out of the cheaters manual. I told him he needs counseling and ADs. He agreed. I told him I was still going to my consultation. He also told me he thinks he has a porn addiction. I saw on the keylogger how much he looked at before work. 12 porn movies in 40 minutes!

Katie, this whole thing reeks of bad fish.

Your WH is in a BAD headspace now and it isn't from being overweight or watching a bunch of porn. More than a porn addict he sounds like a sex addict. The reason he is not safe now is because you don't know why he's acting this way. Is he a CSA survivor? He is falling apart and you don't want your kids to be victims.

BH, 35, CoD, Military...sober since 6/17/14
FWW, EA/PA (x2) different OM coworkers
Reconciling since 8/1/13
100% ready to file at next dealbreaker...don't test me.

posts: 216   ·   registered: Dec. 16th, 2013   ·   location: NoVA
id 6866040
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 katiescarlett (original poster member #43399) posted at 6:41 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

OMFG

Not sure, maybe because if I was able to look at pictures of you everyday I might leave my wife

I know he's not being completely honest with me. I'm sure he must have fooled around. The girl he worked with on his aim chat was someone he gave rides to work in the mornings. He swears he never touched her because she's "dirty" but I have my doubts.

I told him actions speak louder than words and right now I'm believing the actions.

MH-27
MH-28
3 boys
My D-Day July 2014 and numerous others.
His D-Day 8-20-14

posts: 155   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2014
id 6866074
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TimeToGo2014 ( member #43909) posted at 6:48 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Whoa... How does that make you feel to know he said that to another woman? What part of his actions speak of his faith and loyalty to his family's well-being?

Me: BGF (41)
Him: WBF (a much older Peter Pan)
In 2014 was informed by a new acquaintance that WBF had a second, secret life in another city with an old flame.

posts: 151   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2014
id 6866080
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 6:54 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Please go to the lawyer no matter what. Just to see what your rights are. It REALLY helped me to decide what to do/what not to do...Please forward the emails to someone else also -- for evidence.

Your H needs to find a counselor who specializes in Sex addiction.

You need to get a counselor now to help you thru this, and for another set of eyes on the situation, to back you up.. You can call your domestic violence center. In my city, the center told me that emotional abuse is domestic violence. The counseling is $1.00 each session.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 6866085
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 katiescarlett (original poster member #43399) posted at 6:56 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Whoa... How does that make you feel to know he said that to another woman? What part of his actions speak of his faith and loyalty to his family's well-being?

I feel like shit. When I first confronted him he got upset with me because "he works so damn hard for his family" and told me he wasn't cheating. o_0

MH-27
MH-28
3 boys
My D-Day July 2014 and numerous others.
His D-Day 8-20-14

posts: 155   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2014
id 6866089
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TimeToGo2014 ( member #43909) posted at 7:07 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Amazing he can look at you and lie, while being shown black and white proof of his indiscretions.

Me: BGF (41)
Him: WBF (a much older Peter Pan)
In 2014 was informed by a new acquaintance that WBF had a second, secret life in another city with an old flame.

posts: 151   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2014
id 6866108
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 katiescarlett (original poster member #43399) posted at 7:27 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Is he a CSA survivor?

No, I'm the CSA survivor.

You can call your domestic violence center. In my city, the center told me that emotional abuse is domestic violence. The counseling is $1.00 each session.

Emotional abuse? I wouldn't consider him emotionally abusive. Just an ass.

MH-27
MH-28
3 boys
My D-Day July 2014 and numerous others.
His D-Day 8-20-14

posts: 155   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2014
id 6866131
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lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 8:24 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Katie, is there any possibility that your husband is bi-polar? Hypersexuality (including same sex experimentation) is one of the common symptoms.

Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks

posts: 8765   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2007   ·   location: Toronto, Canada
id 6866211
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 katiescarlett (original poster member #43399) posted at 8:56 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

I don't know about bipolar.

I did just call the girl who he gave rides to. She told me nothing happened between them but he was texting her trying to hook up and she told him to knock it off.

MH-27
MH-28
3 boys
My D-Day July 2014 and numerous others.
His D-Day 8-20-14

posts: 155   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2014
id 6866274
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Schadenfreude ( member #43075) posted at 9:40 PM on Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Instead of wondering why right now,mid get STD and HIV tested. Sorry for 2 x4 but who knows what HS done with whom. He doesn't even know the "whom" yet puts you at risk.

posts: 892   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 6866344
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