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I have two dates that will never be forgotten.

How can you ever forget the dates that altered your life?

July 23, 2003 - I discovered a receipt for jewelry - never meant or given to me.

August 20, 2004 - 13 months later when I confronted him.

One thing that my first worthless MC said that sort of made sense was to try and think of the calendar as more linear as cyclic. That kind of worked for me. That meant that I only allowed dday to have one day of my life. It's a nice theory anyway.

July 26 was not my D-Day (that came about two weeks later) but it was:

-The birthday of my dog, who died two days after I found out I was pregnant for the first time

-The due date of that pregnancy, which I lost

-The day my husband got head from a paid escort

I do not like July 26. For me it's worse than D-Day.

August 14, 2012: I confronted him and bludgeoned him into a confession. I was not surprised at his confession, but what did surprise me was learning that the A had been going on since 2003, just before we moved from OW's city.

July 19, 2003: WH f*cks OW for the first time. Our marriage is thereby dissolved, spiritually if not legally.

I know the above date from some photos taken that day. I doubt if FWH is even remotely conscious that tomorrow will be the 11th anniversary of his decision to betray me. It will not be an easy day for me.

The d-day that I list in my profile is actually the night I confronted. I actually went through months of discovery leading up to that date.

However, I had the wrong date in my profile for two years

7 years out and it's not a big deal anymore. You will get there

I consider dday the day we got our marriage back....we plan on going away every year to our favorite spot....

Conversely how many here have WS that DO NOT remember the date of Dday?

Mine has seems to have no idea.

Jan. 26th, 2009. The day passes now without me remembering but ask me and I can tell you.

WH, on the other hand, has no clue.

April 20, 2007.

yeah, there were some 4/20 jokes between them that I read that night.

But I don't remember my second dday. It's either August 3 or 4. Don't know, don't care.

I don't think I'll ever forget the April date, but it holds much less power over me. It was acknowledge by us this year, but we spent about 5 minutes on it and went about our day.

Conversely how many here have WS that DO NOT remember the date of Dday?

I doubt he remembers the YEAR.

2/19/09 - the day I surprised him by moving out. I thought the previous few years were due to family stress, how silly of me!

March 09 - I do not remember the exact date I found out about bitchface. Just know I did it all wrong - confronted him in MC THAT day. wrong, wrong, wrong (newbies...learn from my mistakes!)

He is, and has always been, terrible with dates. So he does not remember much, but what he DOES know is this....I have the memory of an elephant when it comes to events and dates!

I can tell you the exact date AND time. It is like a demarcation in time -- there is Before and then there is After.

However the antiversary of the date 9 years past no longer affects me. I don't acknowledge it and recently it has come and gone before I notice.

Wow, I just went to write my d-date and I am not sure of the date? November 9th I think.

The days events are burned into my head however the date now has little significance.

Our life changed forever but believe it or not almost all for the better. I wouldn't wish it on anyone but if you survive it you can go on to have a wonderful new life together.

[This message edited by Deanna at 3:33 PM, July 18th (Friday)]

Thanks for all the replies everyone - FYI my DDay is my H birthday - he can celebrate that by himself. I'm not buying him something nice for his birthday. Last year (right before DDay) I bought him a damn boat. Am I naive or what? Soon after DDay I went with him while he fished - I waited on the shore reading. He took that opportunity to text a biker chick he met in a bar that he was fishing "alone " and wished she was there. What an assh*ld. The sh*t he did to me after DDay is especially painful as he did it AFTER witnessing my AGONY. A year out and still wondering if this is worth it.

July 29, 2012... She woke me up at 9:15ish AM to tell me that the reason she had been acting strange the past few days was that she had met someone new at work a week and a half prior, had spent the night at his house when I was out of town for work the week prior to Dday and she was pretty sure he was her soul mate so she was leaving. I hadn't even had my coffee yet. Hell of a way to start a Sunday.

I'm one of those who never paid attention to dates prior to Dday. My DDay is Dec. 27, 2010, late in the evening. I caught him texting the AP minutes after we had had sex. It was a memorable holiday gift.

After that searing experience, I reconstructed my life with a calendar, receipts, phone records, etc. Every date is burned in my brain. The memories of what we were doing and how he acted and my constant confusion are still crystal clear. The dates mean absolutely nothing to him; he's oblivious.

As the years since Dday have passed, the dates have less power but they're still noted. It's all so very sad.

[This message edited by struggling16 at 8:19 PM, July 18th (Friday)]

I remember the dates very clearly. However 5 years later they come and go without much thought. It becomes less significant. You'll see.

yes but do you notice that they never remember when they last talked to OW? I have a theory on this. In AA they say if you can't remember when your last drink was that means you haven't had your last drink yet. I told my husband that if you can't remember when you ended it with OW then it hasn't ended. Sure enough he admitted a few weeks later it didn't end when he said it did. I said well when did it. "a few weeks after". Yep, still hadn't ended.

I dont remember specific dates with XWH because 1) there were so many that it all blended together after a while and 2) he and I havent been together in a long time, so it no longer matters to me.

With current WH, since it just happened last weekend and I was completely blindsided, I wont likely forget for a long time.

Cant remember the day i got a hole in one, cant remember the day i bowled a 300 game, cant remember the day my dad died but 9/9/11, my wife told me she had a boyfriend, fucked him, and fucked some stranger............guess its just a day you don't forget.