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Wayward Side :
How to help BS give a shit about anything

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DrJekyll ( member #43618) posted at 2:58 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014

I can appreciate that you are looking for suggestions, and ideas.

Here is what that tells me:

1. you are looking to do what you can

2. at the same time, you want to do it the easieat way possible

you have not said what your ideas are. what you are trying. what your thoughts are. Just panicked and asking for help. Have you listened to what your BS has asked of you? What is that? and why are you not doing it? Because frankly, if you wanted to do it, you would. Just like your A. If you did not really want to do it, you would have been too busy with the kids errands etc. But you found a way there. Time to "Cowboy Up" and find a freaking way, or you can kiss this opportunity good bye.

Quit making excuses, and start finding a way.

A wound can be stitched shut, but it decides when it will heal on its own.

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. C.S.Lewis

posts: 1266   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 6905426
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HopeImOverIt ( member #34517) posted at 4:40 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014

Get the audio book as mp3s on your ipod, and listen with headphones. As long as you're not the one driving the carpool*, you can listen to books with your carmates none the wiser.

*In many locations it's illegal to use headphones while driving, so I'm not recommending this solution if you're the one driving.

Also you can listen when walking to/from lunch, while doing housework, etc.

Me: BW (52)
ExWH: (53)
2 teen-age boys
Divorced

posts: 332   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2012   ·   location: PA
id 6905574
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 5:14 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014

I was on restricted activity (NOT bedrest) for less than a week with my last pregnancy and felt like I was losing my mind. I felt depressed, very, very useless and helpless. I cannot imagine what an extended period of bedrest would do to a person psychologically. I have so much sympathy for anyone who is going/has gone through that. So I can't speak to how she's feeling about you but I'm certain the bedrest is taking its toll.

I think honestly it's hitting me how much she actually does and did because it's falling to me now.

I would definitely relay that to her. Let her know that you have an appreciation for what she does.

Is there any way you can cut down on your work hours? Or the kids' activities? 70 hours a week . . . 7 kids . . . a wife on bedrest - something has got to give.

[This message edited by JanaGreen at 11:15 AM, August 11th (Monday)]

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6905635
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 lovemywife4ever (original poster member #42834) posted at 1:24 PM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

There is no way to cut back. I work in management for a factory and the head honchos stamp the way it is. I cut back, they could replace me. They really don't care what's going on at home and have said as much. I am kind of looking for a new job and BS even is working on my resume while home on rest, so we'll see, but insurance switching now is not a good idea for obvious reasons. Her job is great. She teaches and they have her on leave until after birth. A few teachers have gone through this and it seems to happen there about every other year or so. She had banked enough time to take part of this off paid plus her maternity leave. It helps, but we're a bit worried so my pay needs to stay up. She works at a college part-time a couple nights too and they are letting her teach online this term. She works all day on teaching stuff to keep her mind off things but she's still going crazy.

Me-WS
Her-BS (deena04)
Upper 30s and kids at home (hers/mine/ours)
Cheater-me 2.5 years into relationship, 2 months before engagement, 1.5 year before M...this is not an excuse but a timeline of our life
Now: real love and maturing
REMARRIED AN

posts: 461   ·   registered: Mar. 19th, 2014
id 6906657
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