I was just four months shy of my 37th anniversary when I found out. I still feel like I have brain damage from the impact. After the initial discovery, your body will try to protect itself form the pain. It's called shock. There is so much confusion and nothing makes sense. You hear what's coming out of his mouth and after all these years, your heart tells you to believe him but, your head is telling you that something is not lining up right.
I know we are all a bunch of strangers out in the blogosphere but, I want you to know, we are fellow strugglers. Please focus on what folks are telling you here because, most have walked this path and are a good ways ahead of you. They are trying to warn you what they weren't able to see when they were where you are now.
There were so many days that I was so overwhelmed, I felt like my body was just going to shut down. I will forever be grateful to the compassionate people here who offered up advise I should have listened to instead of making myself swallow the lump of shit he was feeding me.
Right now, you can't and shouldn't believe ANYTHING he says right now. He just blew your world apart and he has some explaining to do. I would urge you to tell him you will need him to submit to a polygraph because its unreasonable to assume you can believe anything he says right now. You are now aware that he is obviously capable of deceiving you and lying to your face.
If you need some space, tell him he needs to go somewhere else until you can sort things out. I still wish I had done this because, I think it sends a strong message to WH that this shit is getting real.
Please tell her husband. He deserves to know what is going on in his own marriage so that he can operate from an informed position. He should know that he is living with a cheater and his future is teetering on the edge of destruction. Once the fairy tale romance is exposed it tends to lose its magic.
Take as much time as you need to move forward armed with whatever information.it takes to help you decide which way to go. Promise him nothing right now as you are still reeling and simply shouldn't expect that you are capable of making sound decisions.
Please listen to the many voices of experience. They are posting to give you aid and direction. There is so much wisdom in what they are saying even if it is so very hard to hear.
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