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Newest Member: Spidermoo

Just Found Out :
husband cheated at an asian massage parlor, kind of a ramble

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 raindrops1420 (original poster member #44897) posted at 1:43 AM on Thursday, September 18th, 2014

The toys were all unopened new in package, he was trying to make things more fun I think.

Yes I know there are things that dont make a sense. I just dont know how to prove these things.

posts: 81   ·   registered: Sep. 16th, 2014
id 6949695
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outtanowhere ( member #39001) posted at 3:10 AM on Thursday, September 18th, 2014

So have you known for all this years about the massage parlors or did you just find out? You don't have to prove anything since he has already confirmed his infidelity. You just have to be honest with him now and let him know that you are trying to process this information and it might take a while. Make no promises for now but, most certainly get into counseling. IC for you both individually then maybe down the road M counseling.

Good luck to you. Please keep coming back and let us know how you are doing.

Me-clueless BS Dday - 2/19/13 "This isn’t flying. It’s falling with style".Buzz Lightyear - Toy Story

posts: 1067   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2013
id 6949771
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knutz ( member #28877) posted at 3:10 AM on Thursday, September 18th, 2014

Lovesobroken is right. Follow the money.

You need to run a credit check on him ASAP. Things don't add up. I know you checked all your accounts - but - he could have credit cards that use his business address as his billing address (mine did), and he could have taken out loans without your knowledge (mine did).

Tell him as soon as he gets home that you want to do a credit check on him, right then and there. Watch his reaction. If he has done something he should not have you will know right away.

Also - put a key logger on the computer. There is a great company called Webwatcher that I used. You can download the key logger right from their site. They also have programs so that you can get all his texts.

If you want to reconcile/forgive you need to know what you are forgiving.

Together 23 years
Married 20 Years
BW (me) 48
FWH: 49 (rSA)
2 children, 9 & 12
DDay: December 27, 2009
"Life is not what it is supposed to be. It is what it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference". Virginia Satir

posts: 265   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2010   ·   location: New England
id 6949773
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