SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Before the A my WH and I both had friends of the opposite sex that we caught up with together and separately.

One of WH best friends is a woman and she has been a friend of the M. But even still I had issues with her knowing her place in our M and my WH having boundaries. I never thought they would cross the line and they haven't but it isn't something I'm comfortable with anymore.

Post the A, we have both stopped catching up separately with friends of the opposite sex on a regular basis. I use to have lunch most days with a friend from work who was male (not always just the 2 of us, many times others were there) but now I limit this to once a month. My WH has caught up once since the A with his best female friend.

My WH and I now make plans together to catch up with friends and we discuss ahead of time and make an agreement if one of us is going to catch up with friends of the opposite sex. We have also discussed boundaries and behaviors. I have always been faithful to my WH but when I look back on my friendships with males I see that it isn't healthy for invested one on one time with men and see some slippery boundaries. It doesn't mean I don't have male friends but I'm very conscious of behaviors.

I keep up strong boundaries with male friends, of which I have had many in my life. I had a man of honour instead of a maid at my wedding. ONCE, when I had been single for 6 months and he had been trying to unfriendzone me for about the same amount of time I slipped up and had a ONS with a good male friend. We were never close again, and I feel bad about that. It was the first and only ONS I ever had, and it wasn't even good.

Anyway, WH had female friends before and even a work wife, but I was all fine with it. Then COW entered the picture.

I have never cheated so I'm not going to stop spending time with my male friends because of his infidelity. But he's on a self-imposed tight leash now, and if I ever stress out over a friend again it's over. No more games.