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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:04 PM on Monday, December 11th, 2017
Since you have suicidal thoughts, see your MD fast and tell him/her. Get into IC if you're not already. Tell your IC if you have one.
Remember - you can call 911. You can call the Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
This is important. Your daughter needs you. You have a long live to live, and if you get out of infidelity, you will feel joy for years, because there's joy all around us.
Please don't give up your life because your H effed up your, your daughter's and his. Let him suffer - see a good D lawyer.
You can survive and thrive. Hang on.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Angelvictorious (original poster member #61617) posted at 9:55 AM on Tuesday, December 12th, 2017
Thanks sisoon I'm ok it's not a constant thought and I know logically that it would be a permanent solution to a problem that I must just work through and move on from. I think im over tired and had just had enough by last night. I did sleep well last night and have talked to him a bit today (or actually yelled at)him which made me feel a lot better 
I am looking into getting some ic it seems a lot of people on here go down that path. It's not really something I've considered before. I don't want to take any medication so I've also started to look up meditation, I've heard that can be very helpful. I'm just really grateful to have found si the people on here like yourself, have been so helpful and I hope I can help others at times too. This group has been a blessing for me. Thank you.
W3IRZ ( member #48882) posted at 11:36 AM on Tuesday, December 12th, 2017
My husband, too, can’t remember the date. Hell he couldn’t even remember the season. I had to have him tell me “was it cold outside?” “Was it before or after xxxx?” (Some events in our family.). I have it narrowed down to a two month window. At first this bothered me. I also wasn’t sure if he truly didn’t remember. Now I know he didn’t. During that time he was on autopilot. No thinking. Thinking involves reflecting on your actions. It means examining your life. Examining your life ruins the fantasy. So I believe whole heartedly that he doesn’t remember when it began.
For me, this is now a blessing. I’m 2.5 years out and I remember dates. I mean I really remember them. I don’t want anymore dates that I have to learn to reframe. I just want to accept the time frame and move on. Truthfully all of it sucks. Knowing the dates or not.
BS - me 42 on DD
FWH - him 44 on DD
Married 21 years on DD
DDAY- 6/30/2015
8/29/2016 update - Reconcilled and completely happy
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