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Yes, thank you. That's what I am doing. I know she is being dishonest at the moment about what she tells me about the break up and what is going to actually happen. Effectively lying to me again by omission. Same as with the A. I have read the texts from the other night. She won't know how I did that but I have. She has told others that there is no way she is moving out and yet I get another story. It's OK. I know the nature of the beast now and you are right, I do need to get things sorted. I'll give her the house. She does deserve some security for our time together. She'll be looking after our kids for another 10 years at least so I'm not putting her out on the street. I just need to work out what I really want out of what we have and the house is not part of that to be honest. I could let that go and never look back. It would be fair, value wise. But I would need an agreement that there it ends. If I make a billion in the next 5 years, she gets nothing of it.

It's going to take a while but I have decided that would be fair. One of the reasons I haven't just walked is the money. May sound shallow but it's all my money and she could be awarded the lot. So that needs sorting. She can have the house and if she kicks me out, so be it. As long as she can't get the really important stuff.

[This message edited by Lawyerman at 3:33 PM, January 12th (Friday)]

Anyway ,now I'm the bad guy as it's ME who is splitting us up. Although she says she won't, I know she'll twist this in her head to go full guns blazing after the assets of my business which will end up costing me and probably our children a fortune. I'm not quite sure how to answer the question as technically it is me and I know she's telling people our story in a way that makes me out to be a nutcase.

Don’t indulge this line of thinking. She crossed the most blatant line of the marital promise. It takes two to make a marriage work. She gave up long ago and then compounded it with years and years of lies.

I hope she is reasonable and doesn't cause you unnecessary pain.

She will get what she deserves. But I decide what that is.

I have not heard of many winning a D.

Will she do some things to fix the marriage to avoid the D?

did she ever take the polygraph?

Has she had other affairs?

If you just need to get over it, ( her actions seem to suggest this) how would she feel if you had an A, so many years ago?

Would she stay married? In your country, do you have separation agreements that can be a framework for the later D?

Do post nups work in your country?

will she pay to have the kids dna tested? Has she been tested for stds?

hope you do find some peace.

Interestingly, since I said we were done, her true nature has been confirmed. I said I would not kick her out. I said it would be fair if we split and that I would try my best to be kind to us and our kids but the messages she sent to her friends tells me in that case she is going to completely screw me over. She tells me the opposite. That she will go quietly into the wilderness. I have told her I won't do that to her and that it will be fair. But she wants to fuck me over. She doesn't want fair. Again I guess.

It's been an interesting exercise. Problem is, I am way smarter than her. Oh well.

I guess the one positive in all this is that now she is revealing her true self. It is better you found this out now before you waste more years of your life on her.

Nothing worse than an unremorseful cheater facing consequences. Prep for battle.

I know this. It's OK. All under control now.

Problem is, I am way smarter than her. Oh well.

I don't 'see that as a problem at all!

Stick to your guns. Get your ducks in a row, quietly. I personally favor the shock and awe approach to serving D papers...just sayin'.