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Newest Member: LuckyMe

Just Found Out :
Lost and Unsure, Stil trying to find which way is up

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antlered ( member #46011) posted at 12:02 AM on Wednesday, April 18th, 2018

Hello brother and welcome to SI

Great group of people here, most of us a little farther down one fork of the road or another from where you are.

It's been a few years since you've consulted with attorneys on the status of your county, correct? I'd consult with a few now to see if the Judges/anti-father attitude has changed. Also inquire about county residency requirements. If you want to play the long/expensive game maybe move on some pretext to a more favorable county to better position yourself? Hell maybe you could pretend to rugsweep again but say you have to move to a fresh start or something. Just brainstorming here.

I will tell you that there is nothing you could have done or not done to prevent this. This is who she is. Nobody but her can change that. Perhaps she tried, but it doesn't seem to stick.

You didn't do anything 'wrong', we are here for you, and you will get through this.

Question: What would you like to have happen? What would you envision being the best (or least worst) outcome here for you and your child?

"Being cheated on was at once the worst and best thing that has ever happened to me.

"There is a huge amount of strength to be had from walking the path of integrity."

posts: 1297   ·   registered: Dec. 18th, 2014
id 8144076
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 1:39 AM on Wednesday, April 18th, 2018

Don't spend your whole fighting off one man after another.

She's not worth it. Never was.

Get your ducks in a row and quit wasting your life on this.

Life is very short!!!!!

posts: 6791   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8144135
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Western ( member #46653) posted at 1:48 AM on Wednesday, April 18th, 2018

Marz is correct. You are married to a serial cheat. Act like you are and dispatch her from your life and find someone worthy

posts: 3608   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2015   ·   location: U.S.
id 8144140
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Michiko ( new member #63465) posted at 1:50 AM on Wednesday, April 18th, 2018

This is heart breaking. I’m new here, but I think it’s important to remember the issues stem from a problem the WS has within themselves. There is a lot at stake, but at the end of it all, you deserve happiness!

Me (betrayed): 27
Him (wayward): 26
DD: 4/15 Sexting website since 2017, Tribute photos
Trying to reconcile, but I cannot stop thinking if there’s more I don’t know...

posts: 8   ·   registered: Apr. 17th, 2018   ·   location: New york
id 8144143
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Dismayed2012 ( member #49151) posted at 2:02 PM on Wednesday, April 18th, 2018

Wow 'lostinstl'. You did all that prep and work last time and she's at it again? If that's the case and if you want a happy life 5 years from now, then I'd suggest you just D her a** and get on with your life. No R is going to fix her. She's gone 'serial cheater' and it's rare that they come back from that. As another poster noted, go for the 50% custody. Kids are usually fine as long as the parents aren't hating on each other. Mine really like the double birthdays and such; the little wretches.

Infidelity sucks. Freedom rocks.

posts: 1802   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2015   ·   location: Central KY
id 8144436
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Badshot ( new member #63495) posted at 1:26 AM on Saturday, April 21st, 2018

I hope you go through with the divorce this time. Just fill it out and drop it in her lap with a simple "I know who you are fucking. Get out."

posts: 12   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2018   ·   location: Sacramento
id 8146637
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Sasha662 ( new member #60696) posted at 2:32 AM on Saturday, April 21st, 2018

I hear you, and I'm also trying to find my way. I'm still in my marriage. I can't bear the thought of losing my kids 50% of the time. My WH says he wants our marriage, but I don't believe him. I really believe that if I stay I will one day be in your position of having it happen again. I just wish I could see the future. I wish people were better. And I wish you happiness. But, I completely understand why you're struggling. You're not alone.

posts: 11   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2017
id 8146662
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