"How they are at 15 is not how they will be at 25 or at 35..."
I respectfully COMPLETELY and VEHEMENTLY disagree with the above statement.
I have 3 boys with actual disabilities due to their birth mothers' addictions during pregnancy. And they have suffered all kinds of emotional and mental challenges.
At age 16, my oldest son was in a one year wilderness program against his will. My husband and I sent him at the urging of a neuropsychologist. I nearly lost my mind it was so painful.
He is now 25 years old. He is committed to his girlfriend, and they have a newborn child. He is either always working, or if he is in between temporary jobs, he always finds a way to do odd jobs in order to earn money for his family.
While it is true he has a temper and sometimes says or ask in a way that is immature, he is no longer in any type of trouble with the law. He is delayed in his maturity, but he is trying his very hardest to be responsible and hard-working.
In fact, he has matured to the point where my husband and I have moved into a new home, and we are intrusting my son and his family to live in our dream home while it is prepared to be put on the market. For insurance purposes and for safety purposes.
As hard as it is, I don't think you are giving up on your boys. They have been through hell, and it is not been your fault. And it has most definitely not been there fault.
In time they will see clearly.
Take this time away from them to nurture yourself and become stronger and more emotionally healthy. That way, when they come to their senses and come back to you, you will have lots and lots of not only love, but also wisdom and strength and patience to help them get through their challenges.
You are in my prayers!