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littleAvocet ( member #64003) posted at 10:18 AM on Monday, May 20th, 2019
Let yourself hate the AP. She’s treated you terribly, and taken advantage of your kind nature for her own gain. Think of the AP like a poison. It will take sometime for the effects to leave your body. These thoughts will be with you for a while and it is completely normal.
Write down all the things you would say to her. Get them out of your head. Rant about her to a safe person. Scream and cry in the shower. Right now it’s easier to focus on the AP, rather than your spouse, and that’s ok. It’s all part of the process. Rant on here if you need to.
You’ve been through a horrible ordeal, and it’s going to take sometime to heal up. You will handle the hatred, even when it feels like it’s eating you alive. Just take it one moment at a time.
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back, and given half the chance would I take any of it back. It’s a fine romance but it’s left me so undone.
It's always darkest before the dawn
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